Half way through our wait?

At this point, we are about five and a half months through our wait. In order to be part of our adoption program, waiting couples such as ourselves pay a one year membership fee. However, upon our enterance, we were informed that the average couple usually waits six to nine months. Based on this, one would assume we are about half way through our wait. Only God knows.

To me, this is the rough part of the wait. It's quiet, and we haven't heard any updates from our program in a while. Still, whenever the phone rings, we jump. Billy and I cope differently. I have melancholy days such as today. You should have seen me try to get through baby dedications at church. For a few moments, I imagined what our pastor might say about our journey, our family sitting in the pews, and the intense joy we would feel. Stupid, stupid me lol. I felt tears escaping my eyes. Immediately I began to back paddle. I began thinking about some silly thing I saw on television. Thank God I was able to pull myself together.

I talked to Billy about it later, and he was aware that I had struggled during the service. He explained again his method of coping. We have done everything we can. The rest is out of our hands. We must completely surrender. God is in control. It's not easy for either one of us, and I feel that I'm starting to lose stamina at this point in the journey. I definitely feel that I need my strength renewed, and I'm fully aware that I can't do that on my own. Please join me in praying for the following: that we completely trust in His plan; less emotional breakdowns (Heather); and a clear perspective regarding what we must accomplish daily; and gratitude for what we have. Thank you in advance for your prayers!