Monday, December 13, 2010

"Everything's Beautiful"

During the holidays, we tend to be a bit more introspective. When Thanksgiving rolls around, we wonder how the year could have passed us by so quickly. The empty chair at Thanksgiving dinner tends to remind us of loved ones that we have lost. I have been thinking about my grandfather Louie so much lately. He had an expression that was his second most common catch phrase: "Everything's Beautiful."


There were times when he asked "Is Everything Beautiful?," and I was tempted to give him a grocery list of reasons why it wasn't. I came so close to saying something like, "Actually, Grandpa, I'm pretty stressed out. Life is crazy. I'm not sure I can keep the plates spinning. I don't know if we'll ever have kids. I don't know if I'll ever be able to get pregnant..." There was always something that stopped me from my rant. Deep down I knew that I am blessed: God loves me despite my faults, I have a wonderful, loving husband (who has the patience of Job), I am surrounded by loving, supportive family and friends, and I have my health (though I'm often convinced that I don't. A little hypochondria humor).





The holidays are still a struggle for me. Each year I hope and I pray that this is our last childless Christmas. There is such a temptation to resort to a pity party. Instead of falling into that pit, I am trying to focus on what I have to be thankful for instead of what I do not have. That is the key to being content. Life does seem more beautiful when you are content. When I am alone, I try not to think about how lonely I may feel or how disappointed I am that our spare bedrooms aren't filled to the brim with kiddos. I am trying to appreciate the quiet moments I have to reflect upon my day and to talk to God. As I snuggle into my recliner with a cup of peppermint tea, away from the craziness of the holiday season, I am overcome with the feeling that "everything's beautiful." By the way, my grandpa's primary catch phrase was "Christ Is the Answer." My Grandpa Louie was a very wise man.

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