"Last of the Mohicans"

As you can imagine, through the eight years of our journey to extend our family, we have crossed paths with other couples struggling with infertility. Each has had to make a decision regarding how much medical intervention they would pursue. Though the struggle is the same, the (treatment) path is often different. This makes perfect sense when you consider there can be numerous causes of infertility. Or, a couple may be a medical mystery, and their specialist may not be able to diagnose the cause for the infertility (Unexplained Infertility). Twenty percent of couples experiencing infertility join us within that statistic. Because of this, there is constant shifting of "teams."

The "teams" are the couples with kids and the couples without kids. Billy and I have been blessed by the comradery of couple friends who journeyed with us. However, throughout the years, many of our friends have shifted to other "teams." Friends who once struggled with infertility have had success through treatment or have been surprised by a natural pregnancy. In each case, we were so happy for our friends, but we observed a change (which should happen): those friends became very busy after having children and appeared to gravitate more towards other friends on the same "team." This happened a lot, and we began to feel that we were the "Last of the Mohicans."

There is such a desire to seek out people like you, so that you are not alone. We began seeking. Five years ago, I joined a wonderful Christian Infertility Support Website entitled "Stepping Stones Forums" which is connected to Bethany Christian Services. The website provides women and men struggling with infertility the opportunity to connect and to support each other through the journey. "Stepping Stones" has a wide array of forums of different subject matters: Our Journey with Christ (devotional); Prayer and Praise; Interpersonal Relationships; Diagnostic Testing; Assisted Reproductive Technology; Ethics; and many more! These forums provide couples a safe place to discuss concerns they have with others who can relate. The website has been such a blessing in our lives, and I have met some wonderful Christians ladies from various parts of the country that I would never have met had I not explored the site (stepforums.bethany.org) .

In addition to receiving support from Stepping Stones, four years ago, I started a Christian Infertility Support Group called "Aspire." There were six of us who met on a weekly basis for a Bible study and prayer time. God really stretched me at this time. My focus shifted from myself to the pain experienced by our group members. Though the group eventually dissolved as members shifted "teams," I believe God orchestrated the formation of the group at the perfect time for its members.

You may know someone who is feeling like the "Last of the Mohicans" due to their struggle with infertility. Please pass on the Stepping Stones site and do not hesitate to pass on my email. I would love the opportunity to encourage them. They are not alone. There are lots of people who can empathize. More importantly, there is a Heavenly Father who wants to walk with them and if necessary carry them on their journey.