On Memorial Day, Liam turned 6 weeks "old." I can tell from looking at him that he has definitely grown! He appears so much taller, and he is now over 10 lbs. (Especially amazing since he was under 7 lbs when he was born!) His eyes are still a dark blue, but I don't think they will turn brown-maybe hazel or green. I'm routing for green-Billy's eyes are green :). He started cooing about a week and a half ago, and he is now able to coo in response. We have had so much fun talking with him-making these really, strange guttural sounds and having him return a variation of them. We try to grab the video camera in time, but we always miss the $10,000 AFV worthy clips. He is also grabbing things A LOT-the burp cloth on my shoulder, the bottle as I'm feeding him, my hair lol. He is also a morning baby-nearly every morning as we peer over the edge of the bassinet, he gives us the biggest, gummiest smile :). As for his tummy problems, they still linger but his attacks do not seem as frequent. We are going to schedule an appointment this week because we do not like the med he is on, and we are questioning the diagnosis of a spastic colon since testing was never conducted. Plus, so much of his pain seems gas related. He is developing the cutest personality and his father's sense of humor. He laughs a lot!
Our pediatrician told us we could take him out and about at 6 weeks. Sweet release! Some have asked me if I get out much. I wonder what gave it away that I have been a hermit-my sweat clothes, glasses wearing instead of contacts, or my lack of make up lol (?) The cabin fever was really starting to get to me because on average I was only getting out about once a week on the weekends when I ran errands. I have had several people offer to watch Liam so that I could get out, but since he can be a little more high maintenance due to his tummy problems, I've hesitated. Today I plan to take him to my high school in Willows. It will not be a pass the baby around event but more of a "show and tell" with Germ X :).
I'm excited to get out more and to introduce people to my beautiful son! I haven't even gotten to say that I'm a "mom" or that I have a "son" all that much. There's still so many of my friends and family that haven't had a chance to meet him. We have lots of fun ahead of us!
Tuesday, May 31, 2011
Monday, May 30, 2011
I Didn't Want to Believe
When we had just joined our adoption program last summer, there was one person I just HAD to tell-my dear friend L. Though we have never met face to face (we met through my sister in law, Rachel), we had so much in common. She and her husband went through years of trying, treatments, and disappointments. The one difference-she was able to get pregnant with her son. However, later, when they attempted to have a second child, they learned that God had a different plan. He laid on their hearts the desire for them to adopt. When I called her that day, she offered me a unique perspective that I didn't want to believe: that people tend to be much happier hearing pregnancy news than adoption news. When they were waiting to adopt, some of her friends had gone as far as saying things like "well, maybe now you'll get pregnant." I just didn't want to believe that people could react in such a way. "Certainly it would be different for us," I thought. I mean, our family and friends know how long we have prayed for and desired a child. They know the great measures we've gone to expand our family. When our bundle of joy arrived in the non-traditional way, I expected nothing but ecstatic responses from friends and acquaintances. For the most part, I was right, but not completely.
There was an event that forshadowed our news would not be received as we had anticipated. I had rehearsed over and over in my head how I would explain to my high school students that Billy and I were expecting through adoption. Finally the day came, but reality did not measure up to my vision. When I told my first period class, half way through my exciting news, a usually shy female student said,"Do you mean that there's something wrong with you and your husband medically and you can't get pregnant?" I was thrown a bit off guard. I guess I didn't expect our infertility to be the focus. I told her that doctors weren't able to determine why we couldn't have children, but that I felt there was different plan for us, adoption. I tried my best to explain how excited we were, and I even used it as a teachable moment, explaining," When someone tells you about a pending adoption, it's like they're pregnant. You should tell them congratulations." After class several students, stopped by and wished me their best.
I proceeded to tell my second period class. When a student interrupted my monologue with, "You're going to tell us your pregnant, aren't you?" I responded,"No, but just as exciting news. My husband and I are expecting through adoption." He said flatly,"That's not the same." Again, I was blown away! I went on to explain that it was just as exciting news as a pregnancy, and what was the proper, mannerly way to respond to such news. By the time my third period class rolled around, I felt beat up lol. I thought,"How could one of the happiest things that have ever happened to us be received so poorily? It isn't fair!" But, something different happened during my monologue to my third period class: a group of female students got the biggest smiles on their faces, and all of a sudden, claps erupted, and a wave swept over the rest of my class-the entire class was clapping for our news! What did I do? Cry, of course lol. I was so touched by their response-they got it! But, why did they get it and the others didn't?
I shared with my partner teacher later in the day what it had been like sharing our adoption news. I told her how amazed I was by the flat responses of some of my students, but T put into perspective. She reminded me that many of our students probably don't have family members who were adopted, and the may not know of anyone who was adopted. They base their knowledge and opinions on their experience. I couldn't really expect too much from them. As a teacher, I really should have realized that.
But that was high school students-our adoption news would be received by adult friends warmly and enthusiasticly, right? I didn't want to believe what L told me could possibly be true. I have posted adoption news on my Facebook status at each crossroad: our decision to adopt, entering the adoption program, being matched to our birthmom, Liam's birth, etc. For the most part, each piece of news has been received well according to the responses. However, I'm surprised by the number of responses in terms of the numbers of "friends" that I have. I'm also surprised that a small number of people we have shared our hearts with during our journey, haven't even made an effort to congratulate us. I know everyone is busy, but people who I really thought would "get it," have been amazingly quiet. Maybe some people are like my students-they don't know people who have been involved in the adoption process. Some are Christians, and I thought they would at least be able to relate on a spiritual level. There isn't a better picture of adoption than God's adoption of believers into His family...Maybe I'm extra sensitive...
In sharing feelings that I have had, Billy has helped put it all into perspective. It doesn't matter what others think, what they say (or don't say), or what they do in terms of OUR adoption. We followed God's tugging on our heart strings, and because of it, we have the most amazing, beautiful, perfect baby boy we could have ever imagined. We have been blessed!
There was an event that forshadowed our news would not be received as we had anticipated. I had rehearsed over and over in my head how I would explain to my high school students that Billy and I were expecting through adoption. Finally the day came, but reality did not measure up to my vision. When I told my first period class, half way through my exciting news, a usually shy female student said,"Do you mean that there's something wrong with you and your husband medically and you can't get pregnant?" I was thrown a bit off guard. I guess I didn't expect our infertility to be the focus. I told her that doctors weren't able to determine why we couldn't have children, but that I felt there was different plan for us, adoption. I tried my best to explain how excited we were, and I even used it as a teachable moment, explaining," When someone tells you about a pending adoption, it's like they're pregnant. You should tell them congratulations." After class several students, stopped by and wished me their best.
I proceeded to tell my second period class. When a student interrupted my monologue with, "You're going to tell us your pregnant, aren't you?" I responded,"No, but just as exciting news. My husband and I are expecting through adoption." He said flatly,"That's not the same." Again, I was blown away! I went on to explain that it was just as exciting news as a pregnancy, and what was the proper, mannerly way to respond to such news. By the time my third period class rolled around, I felt beat up lol. I thought,"How could one of the happiest things that have ever happened to us be received so poorily? It isn't fair!" But, something different happened during my monologue to my third period class: a group of female students got the biggest smiles on their faces, and all of a sudden, claps erupted, and a wave swept over the rest of my class-the entire class was clapping for our news! What did I do? Cry, of course lol. I was so touched by their response-they got it! But, why did they get it and the others didn't?
I shared with my partner teacher later in the day what it had been like sharing our adoption news. I told her how amazed I was by the flat responses of some of my students, but T put into perspective. She reminded me that many of our students probably don't have family members who were adopted, and the may not know of anyone who was adopted. They base their knowledge and opinions on their experience. I couldn't really expect too much from them. As a teacher, I really should have realized that.
But that was high school students-our adoption news would be received by adult friends warmly and enthusiasticly, right? I didn't want to believe what L told me could possibly be true. I have posted adoption news on my Facebook status at each crossroad: our decision to adopt, entering the adoption program, being matched to our birthmom, Liam's birth, etc. For the most part, each piece of news has been received well according to the responses. However, I'm surprised by the number of responses in terms of the numbers of "friends" that I have. I'm also surprised that a small number of people we have shared our hearts with during our journey, haven't even made an effort to congratulate us. I know everyone is busy, but people who I really thought would "get it," have been amazingly quiet. Maybe some people are like my students-they don't know people who have been involved in the adoption process. Some are Christians, and I thought they would at least be able to relate on a spiritual level. There isn't a better picture of adoption than God's adoption of believers into His family...Maybe I'm extra sensitive...
In sharing feelings that I have had, Billy has helped put it all into perspective. It doesn't matter what others think, what they say (or don't say), or what they do in terms of OUR adoption. We followed God's tugging on our heart strings, and because of it, we have the most amazing, beautiful, perfect baby boy we could have ever imagined. We have been blessed!
Tuesday, May 10, 2011
Bella Loves Liam
For starters, the Bella I'm refering to is our golden lab mix not the Bella from Twilight. (Not that I have ever watched or read the series...) A few days ago, two planks in our back fence loosened causing Maya, our Australian Shepherd lab mix, and Darla, our ridgeback lab mix, to escape our yard for hours. The last time I had remembered seeing either of them had been around 2 p.m., and when Billy arrived home at about 6 last night, they were MIA.
Billy combed our neighborhood and surrounding areas for about two hours, and had no luck. We reluctantly decided to put the search on hold until this morning. He brought Bella inside since she looked like she was sick with worry over Maya's and Darla's disappearance. (Actual reason he brought her in: he left the gate open in case Maya and Darla ventured home, so Bella wouldn't have been secured had he left her in the yard.) As Billy prepared Liam's bottle, he began to cry. I watched as Bella slowly sauntered from the laundry room to the living room.
Billy rose from the couch with Liam in his arms, and crouched down half way-just enough for Bella to see Liam. Amazingly Bella stood on her back legs and licked Liam's arm. (So, so adorable!) Then Billy sat back down on the couch, and Bella rested her head on the arm of the couch so she could watch Billy finish feeding Liam. It was all so precious, and the only reason I was okay with Bella being around Liam at all is because she is an absolute sweetheart, and Billy was being so careful. Also the past two weeks, Billy has been presenting the dogs with Liam's blankets and clothing. The purpose is to get the dogs used to him prior to their introduction. Apparentely it worked beautifully because-Bella most certainly loves Liam!
Billy combed our neighborhood and surrounding areas for about two hours, and had no luck. We reluctantly decided to put the search on hold until this morning. He brought Bella inside since she looked like she was sick with worry over Maya's and Darla's disappearance. (Actual reason he brought her in: he left the gate open in case Maya and Darla ventured home, so Bella wouldn't have been secured had he left her in the yard.) As Billy prepared Liam's bottle, he began to cry. I watched as Bella slowly sauntered from the laundry room to the living room.
Billy rose from the couch with Liam in his arms, and crouched down half way-just enough for Bella to see Liam. Amazingly Bella stood on her back legs and licked Liam's arm. (So, so adorable!) Then Billy sat back down on the couch, and Bella rested her head on the arm of the couch so she could watch Billy finish feeding Liam. It was all so precious, and the only reason I was okay with Bella being around Liam at all is because she is an absolute sweetheart, and Billy was being so careful. Also the past two weeks, Billy has been presenting the dogs with Liam's blankets and clothing. The purpose is to get the dogs used to him prior to their introduction. Apparentely it worked beautifully because-Bella most certainly loves Liam!
Sunday, May 8, 2011
Reflections of a New Mommy
How does one put into words what it is like to be a New Mommy on Mother's Day after 9 years of waiting? I seriously can't think of anything to compare it to-maybe it most closely resembles someone who has longed to get married for years upon years, and finally they meet the love of their life. Oh, the bliss that is felt on the wedding day! Still, it's not a perfect comparison. Becoming a mother has really "rocked my world" in the following ways (and in no particular order).
1. I have worn a path out in my carpet from walking to our livingroom to the nursery every 5-10 minutes. (Liam sleeps in his nursery during the day, and at the foot our our bed at night.)
2. I have acquired super power caliber hearing. There's almost no need for a baby monitor!
3. As hard as it may be for some to believe, I'm not as anal about my house being clean. NBC news should have aired a story last week on the house hit most recently by a tornado-the O'Neal household!
4. My (our) priorities have shifted completely. Being a mom has changed my world view, how I view myself, our marriage, and my relationship with God! (I'm praying a lot more!)
5. I've never been so happy to see someone poop in my life-we have had some challenges with formula.
6. I value family time more! I love sitting on the couch and "playing" with Liam and Billy in the evenings. (Check out the video on my wall.) I'm also realizing the importance of extended family contact.
7. Nothing is better than cuddling with Liam after feeding.
8. I've never been so excited about sharing news (Liam) in my life!
9. My laundry has more than doubled, and my sleep has diminished!
10. Most important: for some, biology matters, but not to me. When I look into Liam's eyes, I am convinced the love I experience has been there since God created me. There is not a doubt in my mind that Liam is the answer to our prayers-our son.
There are some many other things that I could list, and maybe this blog will be a work in progress. Happy Mother's Day to all the moms I know! Much love!
1. I have worn a path out in my carpet from walking to our livingroom to the nursery every 5-10 minutes. (Liam sleeps in his nursery during the day, and at the foot our our bed at night.)
2. I have acquired super power caliber hearing. There's almost no need for a baby monitor!
3. As hard as it may be for some to believe, I'm not as anal about my house being clean. NBC news should have aired a story last week on the house hit most recently by a tornado-the O'Neal household!
4. My (our) priorities have shifted completely. Being a mom has changed my world view, how I view myself, our marriage, and my relationship with God! (I'm praying a lot more!)
5. I've never been so happy to see someone poop in my life-we have had some challenges with formula.
6. I value family time more! I love sitting on the couch and "playing" with Liam and Billy in the evenings. (Check out the video on my wall.) I'm also realizing the importance of extended family contact.
7. Nothing is better than cuddling with Liam after feeding.
8. I've never been so excited about sharing news (Liam) in my life!
9. My laundry has more than doubled, and my sleep has diminished!
10. Most important: for some, biology matters, but not to me. When I look into Liam's eyes, I am convinced the love I experience has been there since God created me. There is not a doubt in my mind that Liam is the answer to our prayers-our son.
There are some many other things that I could list, and maybe this blog will be a work in progress. Happy Mother's Day to all the moms I know! Much love!
Wednesday, May 4, 2011
Continued Amazement
As you all know, we are in the process of (open) adopting Liam. We have arranged with his birthmom to have 3 visitations this year, and 2 visitations every subsequent year. In addition, we will send her pictures every several months. We strongly believe that this is healthy for adoptive children and for the birthparents as well as adoptive parents. For about two years leading up to our decision to adopt, we researched books, online sources, people we know who have adopted and adoptees, and spoken to people within the adoption field to help us make the decision to (open) adopt domestically (within the U.S.).
Yesterday was our first visitation with Liam's birthmom! We did this rather early since her mother was arriving out of state for a visit. As with all new things, I was a bit nervous. Because Liam has been struggling with tummy problems recently (doctor changed us to a lactose intolerant formula), we have not been sleeping well. Yesterday because of the exhaustion, I could feel my nerves getting the best of me. I prayed that this would be a great first visit, and that God would bless our time.
When we arrived, besides our birthmom, and her mother, there was also a couple who were good friends of their family. At first, I thought this strange, but soon it became very apparent to me that this was a God-thing. The couple and birthmom's mother are dynamic Christians (as well as our birthmom). We all ate pizza, and Liam was oogled over and held. Our birthmom is doing well, receiving counseling, attending church, and losing her baby weight. Our visit lasted for two hours, and I can't even tell you what an honor it was to meet her mother and her friends!As we were ready to part our ways, the friend of her mother hugged me and told me," That I was "the perfect mother for Liam," and that she would continue to pray for all of us. Her mother told me the same thing. I began crying! I figured that everyone would be watching us to see what kind of parents we were shaping up to be, and to receive such a compliment from the friend of the family, it touched me beyond words. The visit could not have gone any better!
I continue to worry a little since we still have more steps in our adoption process. However, I keep reminding myself that "He who began a good work will carry on until completion" Phi. 1:6.
Yesterday was our first visitation with Liam's birthmom! We did this rather early since her mother was arriving out of state for a visit. As with all new things, I was a bit nervous. Because Liam has been struggling with tummy problems recently (doctor changed us to a lactose intolerant formula), we have not been sleeping well. Yesterday because of the exhaustion, I could feel my nerves getting the best of me. I prayed that this would be a great first visit, and that God would bless our time.
When we arrived, besides our birthmom, and her mother, there was also a couple who were good friends of their family. At first, I thought this strange, but soon it became very apparent to me that this was a God-thing. The couple and birthmom's mother are dynamic Christians (as well as our birthmom). We all ate pizza, and Liam was oogled over and held. Our birthmom is doing well, receiving counseling, attending church, and losing her baby weight. Our visit lasted for two hours, and I can't even tell you what an honor it was to meet her mother and her friends!As we were ready to part our ways, the friend of her mother hugged me and told me," That I was "the perfect mother for Liam," and that she would continue to pray for all of us. Her mother told me the same thing. I began crying! I figured that everyone would be watching us to see what kind of parents we were shaping up to be, and to receive such a compliment from the friend of the family, it touched me beyond words. The visit could not have gone any better!
I continue to worry a little since we still have more steps in our adoption process. However, I keep reminding myself that "He who began a good work will carry on until completion" Phi. 1:6.
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