So I wish I was writing that we had received "the call," but no such news :(. However, there has been a recent development within our adoption program. (And if it hadn't been for our constant curiousity and OCD-ness, we would have missed it-at least for a little while...) For the past week, I have been repeatedly checking the website of our adoption program. On the website are pictures and "adoption updates" of the 12 couples in the program. Nothing had changed, until yesterday!
When I called Billy on my way in from Willows, he informed me that he had visited the website, and he noticed that there was a new couple's pic. However, there were still 12 couples in the program. In other words, it appears as if a baby has been placed in a couples' home since the program only keeps 12 couples in it at a time. Plus, there's another section of the website that lists couples who have had babies placed, and the most recent placement month shown was November for a certain couple. Prior to yesterday, the most recent placement month had been October. So if my deductive skills serve me correctly, this is the couple that has most recently adopted. And, that is why there is a new couple in the program.
The way Billy and I responded to this was quite different. My initial reaction was "thank, goodness! They ARE recruiting birthmoms. Things ARE happening behind the scenes." Billy's reaction was "I wonder why we weren't the ones picked..." Billy is always a very optimistic, glass is half full type of guy, so this took me a little off guard; however, I think I know why he went there. He is so dang competitive! The couple was much older than us, so he wondered why a birthmom would pick an older couple. He continued his thinking out loud "maybe it was this or that." I told him that I am feeling at peace about this. There may have been a tinge of disappointment, but I told him that I really feel that God has the perfect birthmom and future child already picked out for us. Plus, I went on to say, who knows, maybe that baby was going to grow up to be a brat lol. You never know!
Despite our different reactions over Friday's news, I do believe this: more than any other time in our journey, I feel that we are united by our love, by our feelings (about the journey, the process, waiting, etc.), and by our trust. (Proverbs 3:5-6) I can't wait to share when it does! When IT does happen, you will be hard pressed to find someone in Chico (or someone who has internet access) that will not be informed of our news!
Saturday, January 29, 2011
Saturday, January 22, 2011
A song that struck me yesterday...
You know how you won't hear a song for months or years, then you hear it, and it seems totally appropriate for what you're going through? I love when that happens! I really feel that's one way God speaks to us, and lets us know He is there right along with us. It happened to me last night when we were driving to Chili's for dinner. I was in the Murano listening to my Jesus Freak cd which has the song "Mind's Eye" on it. I'm posting the awesome lyrics simply because they do an excellent job explaining why we should have faith in God in the midst of any trial we are going through. Hope this touches others like it has touched me!
Mind's Eye (old school-DC Talk)
(In my mind, I can see Your face
As your love pours down in a shower of grace
Some people tell me You're just a dream
My faith is the evidence of things unseen)
In my mind's eye, in my mind's eye
In my mind's eye, in my mind
You know what I'm going through
I know this is true
'Cause you've stood in my shoes
Desires inside of me
But it's hard to believe in what you cannot see
Can you catch the wind?
See a breeze?
Its presence is revealed by
The leaves on a tree
An image of my faith in the unseen
(chorus)
In my mind's eye
I see Your face
You smile as you show me grace
In my mind's eye
You take my hand
We walk through foreign lands
The foreign lands of life
In my mind's eye, in my mind's eye
In my mind's eye, in my mind
In my mind I'm where I belong
As I rest in your arms
And like a child I hold on to you
In my moment of truth, yes I do
We can ride the storm
Endure the pain
You comfort me in the hurricane
And I'll never be alone again
(repeat chorus 2x)
In my mind's eye, in my mind's eye
In my mind's eye, in my mind
In my mind I can see Your face
Love pours down in a shower of grace
Life is a gift that You choose to give
I believe we eternally live
Faith is the evidence of things unseen
People tell me that You're just a dream
But they don't know You the way that I do
You're the one I live to pursue
Can you catch the wind?
(Can you see God, have you ever seen Him?
I've seen the wind
But I've never seen the wind)
Can you see the breeze?
(There's a mystery to it)
(repeat chorus)
In my mind's eye, in my mind's eye
(I see You there again)
In my mind's eye, in my mind's eye
(I know You'll meet me there my Friend)
In my mind's eye, in my mind's eye
(I know You're there, I can touch You there)
In my mind's eye, in my mind's eye
(I want You there, I need You there, I see You there, I know You Care)
(And I believe, and I believe, and I believe)
Mind's Eye (old school-DC Talk)
(In my mind, I can see Your face
As your love pours down in a shower of grace
Some people tell me You're just a dream
My faith is the evidence of things unseen)
In my mind's eye, in my mind's eye
In my mind's eye, in my mind
You know what I'm going through
I know this is true
'Cause you've stood in my shoes
Desires inside of me
But it's hard to believe in what you cannot see
Can you catch the wind?
See a breeze?
Its presence is revealed by
The leaves on a tree
An image of my faith in the unseen
(chorus)
In my mind's eye
I see Your face
You smile as you show me grace
In my mind's eye
You take my hand
We walk through foreign lands
The foreign lands of life
In my mind's eye, in my mind's eye
In my mind's eye, in my mind
In my mind I'm where I belong
As I rest in your arms
And like a child I hold on to you
In my moment of truth, yes I do
We can ride the storm
Endure the pain
You comfort me in the hurricane
And I'll never be alone again
(repeat chorus 2x)
In my mind's eye, in my mind's eye
In my mind's eye, in my mind
In my mind I can see Your face
Love pours down in a shower of grace
Life is a gift that You choose to give
I believe we eternally live
Faith is the evidence of things unseen
People tell me that You're just a dream
But they don't know You the way that I do
You're the one I live to pursue
Can you catch the wind?
(Can you see God, have you ever seen Him?
I've seen the wind
But I've never seen the wind)
Can you see the breeze?
(There's a mystery to it)
(repeat chorus)
In my mind's eye, in my mind's eye
(I see You there again)
In my mind's eye, in my mind's eye
(I know You'll meet me there my Friend)
In my mind's eye, in my mind's eye
(I know You're there, I can touch You there)
In my mind's eye, in my mind's eye
(I want You there, I need You there, I see You there, I know You Care)
(And I believe, and I believe, and I believe)
Sunday, January 16, 2011
Half way through our wait?
At this point, we are about five and a half months through our wait. In order to be part of our adoption program, waiting couples such as ourselves pay a one year membership fee. However, upon our enterance, we were informed that the average couple usually waits six to nine months. Based on this, one would assume we are about half way through our wait. Only God knows.
To me, this is the rough part of the wait. It's quiet, and we haven't heard any updates from our program in a while. Still, whenever the phone rings, we jump. Billy and I cope differently. I have melancholy days such as today. You should have seen me try to get through baby dedications at church. For a few moments, I imagined what our pastor might say about our journey, our family sitting in the pews, and the intense joy we would feel. Stupid, stupid me lol. I felt tears escaping my eyes. Immediately I began to back paddle. I began thinking about some silly thing I saw on television. Thank God I was able to pull myself together.
I talked to Billy about it later, and he was aware that I had struggled during the service. He explained again his method of coping. We have done everything we can. The rest is out of our hands. We must completely surrender. God is in control. It's not easy for either one of us, and I feel that I'm starting to lose stamina at this point in the journey. I definitely feel that I need my strength renewed, and I'm fully aware that I can't do that on my own. Please join me in praying for the following: that we completely trust in His plan; less emotional breakdowns (Heather); and a clear perspective regarding what we must accomplish daily; and gratitude for what we have. Thank you in advance for your prayers!
To me, this is the rough part of the wait. It's quiet, and we haven't heard any updates from our program in a while. Still, whenever the phone rings, we jump. Billy and I cope differently. I have melancholy days such as today. You should have seen me try to get through baby dedications at church. For a few moments, I imagined what our pastor might say about our journey, our family sitting in the pews, and the intense joy we would feel. Stupid, stupid me lol. I felt tears escaping my eyes. Immediately I began to back paddle. I began thinking about some silly thing I saw on television. Thank God I was able to pull myself together.
I talked to Billy about it later, and he was aware that I had struggled during the service. He explained again his method of coping. We have done everything we can. The rest is out of our hands. We must completely surrender. God is in control. It's not easy for either one of us, and I feel that I'm starting to lose stamina at this point in the journey. I definitely feel that I need my strength renewed, and I'm fully aware that I can't do that on my own. Please join me in praying for the following: that we completely trust in His plan; less emotional breakdowns (Heather); and a clear perspective regarding what we must accomplish daily; and gratitude for what we have. Thank you in advance for your prayers!
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