Infertility: a closeted disease?

I HIGHLY recommend an article that I just discovered in the archives of msn.com entitled "Many Couples Struggle with Infertility in Silence." It is lengthy, but it covers most aspects of infertility incredibly well: infertility statistics; emotional impact (including social); the negative stigma associated with being infertile; the roller coaster of fertility treatments; and even delves into the political arena. The article describes infertility as a "closeted disease," comparing it to breast cancer during the 1970's. The reason for this comparison: couples struggling with infertility suffer in silence, which has even impacted the amount of scientific research that is being conducted! This is a must read for everyone, but especially if you have someone in your life struggling with infertility. Here's the link:

www.msnbc.msn.com/id/38311820/ns/health-women_health

If for some reason you cannot open the link from my blog, the link appears on my FB wall. I have recommended reading the article, so the link is on my wall.

National Adoption Day!

Today, November 20th, is National Adoption Day. Two weeks ago, I had no idea that such a day existed. However, now that we have taken the "adoption route," this day has great significance for us. In fact, adoption has changed the way we think about our journey (to extend our family) and life in general.

Prior to choosing adoption, the focus was on the physical-things we could see. When you're trying to get pregnant, it's all about physical signs of ovulating, charting, and eventually the dreaded pregnancy test. When it comes to the adoption process, it's all about what is going on behind the scenes. For example, a prospective mom could call our adoption facilitator and be matched to us-any day! Billy and I talk often about how many times in a day we think about receiving that coveted phone call with news that we've been matched....probably at least 7-10 times a day and certainly everytime the phone rings! The adoption process is stretching our faith like no other situation we have experienced. We constantly remind ourselves that God is moving people and situations behind the scenes, and He has our best interest at heart. Despite that excitement and anxiousness, we do have peace.

Another perspective that has changed is our understanding of one's acceptance into God's family. Throughout my Christian walk, I have been aware that once one accepts Christ, one becomes a son or daughter of God. However, I never thought of comparing it to adoption. In fact, when we become a child of God, we become joint heirs with Christ! Romans 8:14 states, "For as many are led by the Spirit of God, these are sons of God. For you did not receive the spirit of bondage again to fear, but you received the Spirit of ADOPTION by whom we cry out, 'Abba, Father.' The Spirit Himself bears witness with our spirit that we are children of God, and if children, then heirs-heirs of God and joint heirs of Christ, if indeed we suffer with Him, that we may also be glorified together." Adoption is a process that God initiated with mankind, and it should not be considered second best.

On this National Adoption Day, maybe you have never experienced the process in an earthly sense. However, if you are a believer in Christ, you have experienced it in a heavenly/spiritual sense. May all of us take time to reflect upon the gift of salvation and the adoption process today!

What do you think?

In last month's Reader's Digest, a woman wrote a letter to Jeanne Marie Laskas (of Ask Laskas, which is like an etiquette column) asking for her opinion regarding this situation: a lady at her church constantly singles out one of her sons as being adopted. For example, she would say things like "my adopted son likes blah blah blah..." This really bothered the letter writer who explained that such comments could cause the child to develop insecurities. I can understand the letter writer's perspective. It is unnecessary for this woman to draw such attention to her adoptive son, but I couldn't help but wonder...

Why does this woman single out her adoptive son? Does she feel it is misleading not to acknowledge to others her son is adopted and not her biological son? Or, does she want some kind of recognition for adopting. OR? What could possible be other reasons for her behavior?

I've been doing a lot of thinking about how much information should be shared with others regarding our adoption. Over the past couple of weeks, while shopping for baby items, I've mentioned to store clerks that we were expecting. However, after saying that, I've felt the need to explain that we are expecting through adoption. But, should I have to tell EVERYONE that we are expecting through adoption? I don't think so! Of course, we want people in our lives to know-thus our recent announcements on FB and my blog. I guess it's like any other personal information-you decide how much information you are comfortable sharing and with whom... What do you guys think?

Hope with A Dash of Reality:Update (Sorta)

I'm sorry that I have not had a chance to blog about what caused us to choose Open Domestic adoption. I have not had a chance to interview Billy, and I really want to include his perspective. So that posting will have to wait for now. However, in the meantime, I'd like to update you on our "wait."

You would think after 8 years of waiting, we would be experts. We should be so used to it by now that nothing surprises us or gets us down. Ugh-so not true! Billy and I have been on cloud nine about our decision to adopt, our choice of adoption facilitator, and our certainty in God's perfect plan. But, after a short two months of being in the program, the quietness is causing us to peter out. Being "pregnant on paper" is so different than actually being pregnant! During pregnancy, one can actually witness physical changes. The mommy's tummy is growing, which is proof of the baby's development. However, when one is "pregnant on paper," most developments, especially the early ones, occur behind the scenes.

It looks as if it is going to remain quiet until we are matched to a birthmom. Billy emailed the adoption facilitator yesterday to "check in." She mentioned that a baby had been born recently and placed into an adoptive couple's home, another adoptive couple was matched, and a potential birth mom called this week to inquire about their program. These are all good developments because as other couples move out of the program, our chances of being chosen increase. So, we will just have to keep the momentum of excitement going by reminding ourselves who's in control. In the meantime, we will throw ourselves into some home projects. There's plenty of them around here!

November: National Adoption Month!

I had no idea that November was National Adoption Month nor did I know that November 20th was National Adoption Day until I received my monthly email from American Adoptions. This email has some great ideas for commemorating adoption that I would like to pass on to my friends:

*Ask your public library to create an Adoption display. During the children's reading hour, adoption stories can be read.

*Attend an Adoption event in your area. For a list of events, go to American Adoptions online community.

*Write a letter to your local newspaper or local news station asking them to highlight adoption stories this month. If you know of an inspiring story, share it with them.

*Ask teachers at your school to present lesson plans about adoption. If a teacher assigns a family tree assignment, talk to the teacher about how it may be difficult for adoptees (particularly of closed adoptions) to do the assignment.

*Ask your church leaders to present Adoption in their messages. After all, the concept of Adoption came from God! (More about that later from me.)

*If you have adopted a child, create a scrapbook. Or, if you're a waiting adoptive couple, create a scrapbook for your future child.

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As posted on my Facebook profile status, Harpo Marx, of Marx Brothers fame (comedy team from the 1930's-40's), and his wife Susan adopted four children. When asked by fellow comedian George Burns how many children he planned to adopt, he answered,"I'd like to adopt as many children as I have windows. So when I leave, I want a kid in every window, waving goodbye." I thought that was so sweet, so I had to share it. Also, check out the picture of Harpo, who was known for his trademark curly blond locks, and three of four of his children sporting Harpo wigs!