Three month update

I cannot believe that I haven't blogged since June. I am having withdrawals lol! I thought I would give an overview of my perspective of how we are adjusting-myself, Liam, and Billy and I as a couple :).

Me: I really couldn't be happier! I can't believe how perfect Liam is for us! As a person who hasn't been around a lot of babies, I have tried to glean from friends, family, and online (which can be dangerous), books etc. what I need to know to be the best mom for Liam. As horrible as it seems, I kind of let my prayer life go on the back burner. I think the pure joy and relief of having our deepest desire and prayer request answered made me feel like-every little need I have now seems trivial. But, at one point when I was concerned about Liam a couple of weeks ago, I realized that a Mother needs to pray! And, obviously as with any relationship, we as Christians need to make time and work at being intimate with God. I had also noticed that I was allowing some old bad habits to slide back into my daily routines, so I am really trying to be better! Additionally, we are still needing to figure things out with me going back to work in a few weeks. I do have a peace that God will continue to coordinate all the details just as He did when bringing Liam into our lives.

Liam: is 3 and 1/2 months old, 16 lbs, and 25 inches long-a BIG boy! He started rolling from back to tummy when he wasn 't even 3 months old. A few days ago, he rolled tummy to back, which is much harder! When he rolls over, he pushes up somewhat, not all the way. He has also begun scooting! I can't believe how far he can go in a short amount of time. Because he seems to be doing things early, we are convinced that he will crawl, walk, and talk early too! In fact, several family members, have witnessed him saying "mama," and Billy was teaching him how to say "hi" last weekend. He went back and forth with him about four times-with him saying "hi!" NO JOKE! I'm not saying he's a genius, but we have been amazed! As for his tummy, he is feeling SO much better! We changed him from Soy to a tummy sensitive, milk based formula, and he has adjusted well. As for sleep, Liam is sleeping 7+ hrs at a time, but he is still waking up early in the a.m. for a feeding, which Billy graciously does every day! We had our third and final visitation of this year with his birth mother yesterday, prior to her moving to Florida. We also have a peace about this. She will continue to remain in contact, but the move will give her a chance to be surrounded by family and to have a fresh start.

Billy and me: We love our small family! We took Liam to church for the first time, and I'm so glad to be returning to that routine! He did quite well; however, Billy did have to take him out to the foyer when he started babbling and yawned loud at the end of the sermon lol! A week from last Sunday, we celebrated our 12th anniversary! My Grandma came over to watch Liam, so we could go to dinner! Our first date in 3 months! We plan to be better about that. In fact, my hope, is that we get to take the boat out together at least one time this summer before I start back in a few weeks...

Finally, so of the most exciting news we have to share: my aunt helped my parents find a house in Chico! It is literally around the corner from us! They are in the process of buying it, and God willing, plan to move in October or November! We are praying that their house in Redding sells soon.

As mentioned earlier, I couldn't be happier. I haven't felt this burden-free in years. I'm not saying everything is perfect. We still have a few things to figure out, but everyday we thank God for bringing Liam into our lives. This has really helped increase my faith and trust in His plan for our lives, and it has given me a deeper understanding of His love for us and His desire to bless us.

A Summary of Our Journey

Since there are some people who may not be aware of our latest regarding our adoption of Liam, I'm posting a summary of our journey. It is a little on the long side (sorry in advance), but I hope that it touches people's hearts and that people will see God's faithfulness and goodness. This was read at our baby shower last weekend:


I can't tell you what it means to me and my family that you are here to celebrate the addition of Liam. All babies are a special blessing, and each has their own unique story. I believe, though I am especially partial, that Liam's story was a time sensitive, coordinate miracle, with lots of twists and turns. I felt that if I didn't tell the story, that I wouldn't be honoring the one who I believe worked out all of the details. Since Billy and I are the ones who experienced it, I was told that it would be best coming from one of us-so to make it a little easier, I'll be reading Liam's story...

As all of you know, Billy and I wanted to have a family for about nine years prior to Liam's arrival. After lots of doctors, meds, treatments, along with the physical, emotional, and spiritual drain of infertility, we both decided to move forward with open adoption. We had spent lots of time praying, researching, and I had even spoken considerably to one of my cousins who was adopted. We were referred to a local adoption facilitator who one of Billy's co-workers adopted through. We entered the adoption program in September of last year. We compiled a profile of our life and completed lots of paperwork, and submitted it, praying that a birth mom would select us soon-after all, we had been waiting for so long already. In order to cope with the wait, I began to blog, which has been extremely therapeutic.

At the end of February, we were feeling discouraged that we had not gotten any "bites" on our profile. We had been in the program for 6 months, so we met with our adoption facilitator, Mari. She explained that there weren't many potential birthmothers entering the program, so we would have to wait a bit longer. However, about two and a half weeks later, on my granmother's birthday (something we will always remember), Mari called Billy to tell him that a birthmother, who was due in a mont, had picked us! Within a week, we met face to face with her, which was mediated by Mari. Though we were nervous, the meeting went exceptionally well. Even Mari was amazed by the funny little commonalities we had with our birthmother-she sings (we both sing), she dances (Billy dances), and she lived in Oroville for much of her growing us years (where Billy is from),a nd most all, we share the same faith! Prior to our meeting, I had prayed that if this was the right birthmother, that God would provide some kind of confirmation. I planned to ask her why she chose us. I hoped that she would answer that it was due to our shared faith. She I asked her, that was exactly what she said!

However, even after that, we had our doubts. It didn't seem possible that this could be our time. I feel that God used some special friends of ours to encourage us to take the leap and to follow through with the match-they believed that this was an answer to our prayers. After choosing to move forward, I was especially amazed by how quickly all the details worked out. Since it was the end of the school year, I decided to go on leave from my teaching job at Willows High. I knew it would be ideal to have that time and the summer to bond with Liam (, the name we had chosen because it is derived from Billy's name, William). A week after choosing to move forward, my student teacher completed her student teaching. She was an obvious choice for a longterm sub since she knew my students and was trained. Ironically, I had never been presented the opportunity to have a student teacher prior to this school year!)

As Liam's due date drew near, we rushed to get baby necessities and the nursery set up. I prepared my students for my pending departure, we worked on adoption paperwork, and we waited. One day we received a call that our birthmom was in labor only to find out that it was false labor. A week after Liam's due date, he still hadn't arrived, so the doctor decided to induce.Billy and I made a short trip up to Feather River Hospital, and kept our birthmother company. The drug was administered, and we waited for contractions. That evening, we were awakened by the doctor who informed us that things weren't progressing as he had hoped, and that he would be doing an emergency c-section. We prayed together and hoped for the best. Liam was born on April 18 at 11:45 p.m. He shares the same birthday as two of my cousins, Katie and Greg, and of our good friend Kathy's daughter, Cole. So he is in great company!

The next day, family visited us. Our birthmom share Liam with us, and she graciously told Billy that she was willing to meet any of our family members. Earlier in the day, I had "met" her mom and sister over the phone-an amazing thing!) My mom and one of my aunts met our birthmom, and it was a very special opportunity for them to thank her for helping us to achieve our dreams and to recognize her for the brave choice to provide Liam with an adoptive life.

Prior to leaving the hospital, our birthmom asked the hospital chaplin whether she would pray a blessing over Liam. Just before prayer, the chaplin told us that she and her husband have desired to have a family for years, and that she hoped someday they would be blessed through adoption just as we have been. Her payer was absolutely beautiful-just as I would imagine Liam's church dedication might be. As you can imagine, our birthmom, Billy, and I were all in tears by the end. In order to help with the separation, it is advised that the adoptive parents and birthparents leave the hospital at the same time. That is exactly what we did. The ride home and pretty much the last two months have seemed so surreal!

When we arrived home that night, Billy told me that he had spoken to one of Liam's nurses, and she asked him to what extent we had tried to have a family. They swapped infertility stories, and the nurse said she and her husband will most likely adopt. As I think about the chaplin and the nurse, I can't help but wonder what kind of impact our experience will have on them. I wish I could know! It has been quite a journey to become a family of 3, and through it I've related to and drawn strength from a few scripture references. The one that I feel best captures the tone of our journey's culmination is: Ephesians 3:20: "Now all glory to God who is able through His mighty powerat work within us, to accomplish infinitely more than we might ask or think." The blessing of Liam has exceeded what Billy and I could have ever imagined. We are so thankful to God, and so grateful for the love, support, prayers, and words of encouragement we have received from all of you, our family and friends.

6 Weeks-Sweet Release!

On Memorial Day, Liam turned 6 weeks "old." I can tell from looking at him that he has definitely grown! He appears so much taller, and he is now over 10 lbs. (Especially amazing since he was under 7 lbs when he was born!) His eyes are still a dark blue, but I don't think they will turn brown-maybe hazel or green. I'm routing for green-Billy's eyes are green :). He started cooing about a week and a half ago, and he is now able to coo in response. We have had so much fun talking with him-making these really, strange guttural sounds and having him return a variation of them. We try to grab the video camera in time, but we always miss the $10,000 AFV worthy clips. He is also grabbing things A LOT-the burp cloth on my shoulder, the bottle as I'm feeding him, my hair lol. He is also a morning baby-nearly every morning as we peer over the edge of the bassinet, he gives us the biggest, gummiest smile :). As for his tummy problems, they still linger but his attacks do not seem as frequent. We are going to schedule an appointment this week because we do not like the med he is on, and we are questioning the diagnosis of a spastic colon since testing was never conducted. Plus, so much of his pain seems gas related. He is developing the cutest personality and his father's sense of humor. He laughs a lot!

Our pediatrician told us we could take him out and about at 6 weeks. Sweet release! Some have asked me if I get out much. I wonder what gave it away that I have been a hermit-my sweat clothes, glasses wearing instead of contacts, or my lack of make up lol (?) The cabin fever was really starting to get to me because on average I was only getting out about once a week on the weekends when I ran errands. I have had several people offer to watch Liam so that I could get out, but since he can be a little more high maintenance due to his tummy problems, I've hesitated. Today I plan to take him to my high school in Willows. It will not be a pass the baby around event but more of a "show and tell" with Germ X :).

I'm excited to get out more and to introduce people to my beautiful son! I haven't even gotten to say that I'm a "mom" or that I have a "son" all that much. There's still so many of my friends and family that haven't had a chance to meet him. We have lots of fun ahead of us!

I Didn't Want to Believe

When we had just joined our adoption program last summer, there was one person I just HAD to tell-my dear friend L. Though we have never met face to face (we met through my sister in law, Rachel), we had so much in common. She and her husband went through years of trying, treatments, and disappointments. The one difference-she was able to get pregnant with her son. However, later, when they attempted to have a second child, they learned that God had a different plan. He laid on their hearts the desire for them to adopt. When I called her that day, she offered me a unique perspective that I didn't want to believe: that people tend to be much happier hearing pregnancy news than adoption news. When they were waiting to adopt, some of her friends had gone as far as saying things like "well, maybe now you'll get pregnant." I just didn't want to believe that people could react in such a way. "Certainly it would be different for us," I thought. I mean, our family and friends know how long we have prayed for and desired a child. They know the great measures we've gone to expand our family. When our bundle of joy arrived in the non-traditional way, I expected nothing but ecstatic responses from friends and acquaintances. For the most part, I was right, but not completely.


There was an event that forshadowed our news would not be received as we had anticipated. I had rehearsed over and over in my head how I would explain to my high school students that Billy and I were expecting through adoption. Finally the day came, but reality did not measure up to my vision. When I told my first period class, half way through my exciting news, a usually shy female student said,"Do you mean that there's something wrong with you and your husband medically and you can't get pregnant?" I was thrown a bit off guard. I guess I didn't expect our infertility to be the focus. I told her that doctors weren't able to determine why we couldn't have children, but that I felt there was different plan for us, adoption. I tried my best to explain how excited we were, and I even used it as a teachable moment, explaining," When someone tells you about a pending adoption, it's like they're pregnant. You should tell them congratulations." After class several students, stopped by and wished me their best.


I proceeded to tell my second period class. When a student interrupted my monologue with, "You're going to tell us your pregnant, aren't you?" I responded,"No, but just as exciting news. My husband and I are expecting through adoption." He said flatly,"That's not the same." Again, I was blown away! I went on to explain that it was just as exciting news as a pregnancy, and what was the proper, mannerly way to respond to such news. By the time my third period class rolled around, I felt beat up lol. I thought,"How could one of the happiest things that have ever happened to us be received so poorily? It isn't fair!" But, something different happened during my monologue to my third period class: a group of female students got the biggest smiles on their faces, and all of a sudden, claps erupted, and a wave swept over the rest of my class-the entire class was clapping for our news! What did I do? Cry, of course lol. I was so touched by their response-they got it! But, why did they get it and the others didn't?


I shared with my partner teacher later in the day what it had been like sharing our adoption news. I told her how amazed I was by the flat responses of some of my students, but T put into perspective. She reminded me that many of our students probably don't have family members who were adopted, and the may not know of anyone who was adopted. They base their knowledge and opinions on their experience. I couldn't really expect too much from them. As a teacher, I really should have realized that.


But that was high school students-our adoption news would be received by adult friends warmly and enthusiasticly, right? I didn't want to believe what L told me could possibly be true. I have posted adoption news on my Facebook status at each crossroad: our decision to adopt, entering the adoption program, being matched to our birthmom, Liam's birth, etc. For the most part, each piece of news has been received well according to the responses. However, I'm surprised by the number of responses in terms of the numbers of "friends" that I have. I'm also surprised that a small number of people we have shared our hearts with during our journey, haven't even made an effort to congratulate us. I know everyone is busy, but people who I really thought would "get it," have been amazingly quiet. Maybe some people are like my students-they don't know people who have been involved in the adoption process. Some are Christians, and I thought they would at least be able to relate on a spiritual level. There isn't a better picture of adoption than God's adoption of believers into His family...Maybe I'm extra sensitive...


In sharing feelings that I have had, Billy has helped put it all into perspective. It doesn't matter what others think, what they say (or don't say), or what they do in terms of OUR adoption. We followed God's tugging on our heart strings, and because of it, we have the most amazing, beautiful, perfect baby boy we could have ever imagined. We have been blessed!

Bella Loves Liam

For starters, the Bella I'm refering to is our golden lab mix not the Bella from Twilight. (Not that I have ever watched or read the series...) A few days ago, two planks in our back fence loosened causing Maya, our Australian Shepherd lab mix, and Darla, our ridgeback lab mix, to escape our yard for hours. The last time I had remembered seeing either of them had been around 2 p.m., and when Billy arrived home at about 6 last night, they were MIA.

Billy combed our neighborhood and surrounding areas for about two hours, and had no luck. We reluctantly decided to put the search on hold until this morning. He brought Bella inside since she looked like she was sick with worry over Maya's and Darla's disappearance. (Actual reason he brought her in: he left the gate open in case Maya and Darla ventured home, so Bella wouldn't have been secured had he left her in the yard.) As Billy prepared Liam's bottle, he began to cry. I watched as Bella slowly sauntered from the laundry room to the living room.

Billy rose from the couch with Liam in his arms, and crouched down half way-just enough for Bella to see Liam. Amazingly Bella stood on her back legs and licked Liam's arm. (So, so adorable!) Then Billy sat back down on the couch, and Bella rested her head on the arm of the couch so she could watch Billy finish feeding Liam. It was all so precious, and the only reason I was okay with Bella being around Liam at all is because she is an absolute sweetheart, and Billy was being so careful. Also the past two weeks, Billy has been presenting the dogs with Liam's blankets and clothing. The purpose is to get the dogs used to him prior to their introduction. Apparentely it worked beautifully because-Bella most certainly loves Liam!

Reflections of a New Mommy

How does one put into words what it is like to be a New Mommy on Mother's Day after 9 years of waiting? I seriously can't think of anything to compare it to-maybe it most closely resembles someone who has longed to get married for years upon years, and finally they meet the love of their life. Oh, the bliss that is felt on the wedding day! Still, it's not a perfect comparison. Becoming a mother has really "rocked my world" in the following ways (and in no particular order).

1. I have worn a path out in my carpet from walking to our livingroom to the nursery every 5-10 minutes. (Liam sleeps in his nursery during the day, and at the foot our our bed at night.)

2. I have acquired super power caliber hearing. There's almost no need for a baby monitor!

3. As hard as it may be for some to believe, I'm not as anal about my house being clean. NBC news should have aired a story last week on the house hit most recently by a tornado-the O'Neal household!

4. My (our) priorities have shifted completely. Being a mom has changed my world view, how I view myself, our marriage, and my relationship with God! (I'm praying a lot more!)

5. I've never been so happy to see someone poop in my life-we have had some challenges with formula.

6. I value family time more! I love sitting on the couch and "playing" with Liam and Billy in the evenings. (Check out the video on my wall.) I'm also realizing the importance of extended family contact.

7. Nothing is better than cuddling with Liam after feeding.

8. I've never been so excited about sharing news (Liam) in my life!

9. My laundry has more than doubled, and my sleep has diminished!

10. Most important: for some, biology matters, but not to me. When I look into Liam's eyes, I am convinced the love I experience has been there since God created me. There is not a doubt in my mind that Liam is the answer to our prayers-our son.


There are some many other things that I could list, and maybe this blog will be a work in progress. Happy Mother's Day to all the moms I know! Much love!

Continued Amazement

As you all know, we are in the process of (open) adopting Liam. We have arranged with his birthmom to have 3 visitations this year, and 2 visitations every subsequent year. In addition, we will send her pictures every several months. We strongly believe that this is healthy for adoptive children and for the birthparents as well as adoptive parents. For about two years leading up to our decision to adopt, we researched books, online sources, people we know who have adopted and adoptees, and spoken to people within the adoption field to help us make the decision to (open) adopt domestically (within the U.S.).

Yesterday was our first visitation with Liam's birthmom! We did this rather early since her mother was arriving out of state for a visit. As with all new things, I was a bit nervous. Because Liam has been struggling with tummy problems recently (doctor changed us to a lactose intolerant formula), we have not been sleeping well. Yesterday because of the exhaustion, I could feel my nerves getting the best of me. I prayed that this would be a great first visit, and that God would bless our time.

When we arrived, besides our birthmom, and her mother, there was also a couple who were good friends of their family. At first, I thought this strange, but soon it became very apparent to me that this was a God-thing. The couple and birthmom's mother are dynamic Christians (as well as our birthmom). We all ate pizza, and Liam was oogled over and held. Our birthmom is doing well, receiving counseling, attending church, and losing her baby weight. Our visit lasted for two hours, and I can't even tell you what an honor it was to meet her mother and her friends!As we were ready to part our ways, the friend of her mother hugged me and told me," That I was "the perfect mother for Liam," and that she would continue to pray for all of us. Her mother told me the same thing. I began crying! I figured that everyone would be watching us to see what kind of parents we were shaping up to be, and to receive such a compliment from the friend of the family, it touched me beyond words. The visit could not have gone any better!

I continue to worry a little since we still have more steps in our adoption process. However, I keep reminding myself that "He who began a good work will carry on until completion" Phi. 1:6.