Sunday, May 8, 2011

Reflections of a New Mommy

How does one put into words what it is like to be a New Mommy on Mother's Day after 9 years of waiting? I seriously can't think of anything to compare it to-maybe it most closely resembles someone who has longed to get married for years upon years, and finally they meet the love of their life. Oh, the bliss that is felt on the wedding day! Still, it's not a perfect comparison. Becoming a mother has really "rocked my world" in the following ways (and in no particular order).

1. I have worn a path out in my carpet from walking to our livingroom to the nursery every 5-10 minutes. (Liam sleeps in his nursery during the day, and at the foot our our bed at night.)

2. I have acquired super power caliber hearing. There's almost no need for a baby monitor!

3. As hard as it may be for some to believe, I'm not as anal about my house being clean. NBC news should have aired a story last week on the house hit most recently by a tornado-the O'Neal household!

4. My (our) priorities have shifted completely. Being a mom has changed my world view, how I view myself, our marriage, and my relationship with God! (I'm praying a lot more!)

5. I've never been so happy to see someone poop in my life-we have had some challenges with formula.

6. I value family time more! I love sitting on the couch and "playing" with Liam and Billy in the evenings. (Check out the video on my wall.) I'm also realizing the importance of extended family contact.

7. Nothing is better than cuddling with Liam after feeding.

8. I've never been so excited about sharing news (Liam) in my life!

9. My laundry has more than doubled, and my sleep has diminished!

10. Most important: for some, biology matters, but not to me. When I look into Liam's eyes, I am convinced the love I experience has been there since God created me. There is not a doubt in my mind that Liam is the answer to our prayers-our son.


There are some many other things that I could list, and maybe this blog will be a work in progress. Happy Mother's Day to all the moms I know! Much love!

Wednesday, May 4, 2011

Continued Amazement

As you all know, we are in the process of (open) adopting Liam. We have arranged with his birthmom to have 3 visitations this year, and 2 visitations every subsequent year. In addition, we will send her pictures every several months. We strongly believe that this is healthy for adoptive children and for the birthparents as well as adoptive parents. For about two years leading up to our decision to adopt, we researched books, online sources, people we know who have adopted and adoptees, and spoken to people within the adoption field to help us make the decision to (open) adopt domestically (within the U.S.).

Yesterday was our first visitation with Liam's birthmom! We did this rather early since her mother was arriving out of state for a visit. As with all new things, I was a bit nervous. Because Liam has been struggling with tummy problems recently (doctor changed us to a lactose intolerant formula), we have not been sleeping well. Yesterday because of the exhaustion, I could feel my nerves getting the best of me. I prayed that this would be a great first visit, and that God would bless our time.

When we arrived, besides our birthmom, and her mother, there was also a couple who were good friends of their family. At first, I thought this strange, but soon it became very apparent to me that this was a God-thing. The couple and birthmom's mother are dynamic Christians (as well as our birthmom). We all ate pizza, and Liam was oogled over and held. Our birthmom is doing well, receiving counseling, attending church, and losing her baby weight. Our visit lasted for two hours, and I can't even tell you what an honor it was to meet her mother and her friends!As we were ready to part our ways, the friend of her mother hugged me and told me," That I was "the perfect mother for Liam," and that she would continue to pray for all of us. Her mother told me the same thing. I began crying! I figured that everyone would be watching us to see what kind of parents we were shaping up to be, and to receive such a compliment from the friend of the family, it touched me beyond words. The visit could not have gone any better!

I continue to worry a little since we still have more steps in our adoption process. However, I keep reminding myself that "He who began a good work will carry on until completion" Phi. 1:6.

Saturday, April 30, 2011

Goodbye, Michael Scott. Hello, Liam

On Thursday, The Office aired their goodbye episode to Michael Scott (Steve Carell). As a die hard fan of Carell's character, I now view the show as a sinking ship-sadly. Producers have come up with a quick fix with Will Ferrell, but it appears that his managerial role will be short lived. No matter what big hitter they get, they won't be able to fill Michael Scott's shoes. The Office has been a tv. staple in our home ever since it's beginning in 2005. The dead pan humor struck a chord with me immediately, and I had loved Steve Carell in Anchorman. I have been frustrated about the departure of Michael Scott, but I had no idea how deepily it would impact me.

In 2005, we were three years into our infertility journey. At that point, doctors had been consulted, meds administered, various treatments tried. I had taken a break from teaching fulltime to have a more flexible schedule for doctor's appointments. In order to bring in additional income, I had started a home based tutoring business. My life was pretty quiet, and I was in desperate need of an escape. In the evenings, Billy and I found very few shows we liked to watch together, but we gave The Office a chance. I liked it immediately, and Billy needed some time to warm up to it. Soon enough, I was a fanatic. At first I would do nerdy stuff like quote lines from the show "that's what she said" or we would religiously dvr when we weren't able to watch. Then I became a hard core fan by owning seasons of the show and watching various episodes over and over again when I especially needed a good laugh. (My favorite is "The Injury.")

Thursday night's farewell to Steve Carell episode had the following premise: Michael Scott had made a list of all his coworkers, and he crossed their names off the list after he was able to say something special to them or give them some kind of momento. All of his coworkers were under the impression that the next day was his last day. However, secretly he planned that the current day would be his last. He had his special moments with all of his coworkers with the exception of Pam, who was supposedly running a work errand. Just before the taxi arrived to pick him up for the airport, Jim (Pam's husband) figured out that that was Michael Scott's last day. Michael said goodbye to everyone in the office, the rest of them completely unaware that he was not returning the next day. Michael Scott was transported to the airport, and the audience was convinced that he had missed his opportunity with Pam. However, just as Michael was about to board his plane, Pam showed up just at the nick of time (obviously she had been running because she was carrying her heels). They shared a very sweet moment embracing and saying their goodbyes. At this point in the episode, I completely lost it. I was literally sobbing as I watched this. Billy did his usual thing when I cry over sappy stuff-point and laugh. He asked me, "Really, Heather? Why?"

I thought a minute, and realized how profound the exit of Michael Scott was. I had relied on his antics and that of Dwight's for the majority of our infertility journey. He had put a smile on my face and helped me laugh during my darkest of times. However, I no longer need his comedic relief. The dark days are gone. My joy has been restored. On to the next phase of our lives. God has blessed us with Liam. Goodbye, Michael Scott. Hello, Liam.

Friday, April 22, 2011

Unimagineable

"Now all glory to God who is able through His mighty power at work within us, to accomplish infinitely more than we might ask or think" Ephesians 3:20 (NIV)

That scripture reference was the most appropriate way I could start this blog. I love Romans 8:28, but I'm feeling Ephesians 3:20 really captures the tone of our journey's culmination. This week God has shown up more than I ever remember seeing Him in my life, and the good that has come from our journey was unimagineable, more than what we could have thought to ask for! More than anything, I hope my friends recognize this as a blessing from God. There were way too many "coincidences" through the past month leading up to Liam's delivery-it was definitely a "God thing". God's goodness has been evident through this entire journey, and I'll try to highlight events since Monday...

As you know, Liam was born via emergency C-section late Monday night. The doctor noticed that his heart rate was flat, and when he performed the C-section, he discovered the cord was wrapped around his neck 1.5 times. Billy and I knew something wasn't right when he told us the plans for delivery had changed, and he said a prayer and did lots of pacing while we waited. The bummer was that I wasn't able to be in the delivery room. Our birthmom had chosen to have her support person with her instead, which was understandable. Immediately afterwards, we were able to not only see Liam, but we had him in our room all night. (We and the birthmom had our own, separate rooms).

The next day, family visited with us. My parents, grandma, two aunts, and Billy's sister came by to meet Liam. Birthmom shared him with us that day, and she graciously told Billy that she was willing to meet any of our family members. (Earlier in the day I had "met" her mother and sister over the phone-an amazing thing!) My mom and one of my aunts met our birthmom, and it was a very special opportunity for them to thank her for helping us achieve our dreams and to recognize her brave choice to provide Liam an adoptive life.

Prior to leaving the hospital, the birthmom asked the hospital chaplin whether she would pray a blessing over Liam. (It has been fantastic to have a birthmom who shares our same beliefs!) Just before prayer, the chaplin told us that she and her husband have desired to have a family for years, and that since she is nearly forty, she hopes someday they will be blessed through adoption just as we have been. Her prayer was absolutely beautiful-just as I'd imagine Liam's church dedication might be. As you can imagine, our birthmom, Bill, and I were all in tears by the end of the prayer. In order to help with the separation, it is advised that birthmoms and adoptive parents leave the hospital at the same time. That is exactly what we did.

When we arrived home that night, Billy told me that he had spoken to one of Liam's nurses, and she asked him to what extent we had gone to have a family. They swapped infertility stories, and the nurse said that she and her husband will most likely adopt, and she even asked about our adoption facilitator. As I think about the chaplin and the nurse, I can't help but wonder what kind of impact our experience will have on them. I wish I could know!

Now I can't go on anymore without bragging about my son :). Liam is not only the cutest baby in the entire world since the beginning of time, but he also has Herculian strength. At 17 hrs. "old", while being burped, he has been able to lift his head off Billy's shoulder! We have pics to prove it! He continues to do this, and turn his head so he can see us while we are tending to him. We took him to the pediatrician today for his two day appointment, and our doctor said that he looks great! He is eating very well, and is only waking up one time in the middle of the night. He consistently sleeps 4 hrs. straight-I"m afraid that I may jinx myself by writing this lol.

As for the adoption process, there are a number of things that must be accomplished. First, we have to submit our request to adopt Liam within 10 days to the court. Please pray that this, and other hurdles over the next month will be smooth sailing. It takes 8 months for the adoption to be final. I will update as our journey, no, adventure with Liam (the most beautiful, special baby in the world :) ) continues.

Thursday, April 14, 2011

The End (or the Beginning) in Sight!

I thought I would give everyone an update of the last 24 hrs. Yesterday at the end of 7th period, Billy called me. At that moment, I just knew Liam was on his way. For the past week, Billy had been telling me that he thought Liam would be born on Wednesday, the 13th. I don't put a lot of stock in premonitions, but when he called me, I couldn't believe it. Sure enough our birth mom was having contractions. Since I teach in Willows, I was advised to head home. I waited a little while for Billy to arrive, and after he came home, we received a call from our adoption facilitator that the contractions were irregular. Therefore our birthmom wasn't heading to the hospital. So we waited nearly two hours, and sure enough we received another call from our adoption facilitator that she had just found out that that our birthmom was headed to the hospital. In record timing, we had the car packed, and ventured out on the 30 minute drive to Feather River Hospital. Once there, we joined our birthmom in her beautiful, spacious room (love their birthing center!), and watched the monitor, hearing Liam's heartbeat for the very first time! We chit chatted on a more casual level with our birthmom, which was a great bonding time. Sure enough, the charge nurse came in to inform us that her contractions had stopped! She was released! Since our birthmom has dilated slightly, we think Liam will arrive in the next day or so. Because of this, I had my sub teacher start covering my leave today. I just didn't want to be in Willows again, and have to worry about getting to Paradise in time! Today I've been able to do some final nesting activities-work in the nursery, do laundry, and have my acrylic nails removed lol! We are ready for Liam; whenever God has appointed his arrival to be!

Saturday, March 26, 2011

Read for Riddle's Answer

Do you know when something wonderful begins to develop, and your first thought is to tell everyone you know? But, then you have second thoughts because you don't want to jinx it. Not that I'm superstitious at all -"just a little stitious" (Michael Scott, The Office). The past week and a half have been exactly that way for Billy and me.

On March 16th, after work I stopped by to wish my grandma "happy birthday." I accidentally left my cell in the car-something I never do. I hadn't been at her house more than 15 minutes when her phone rang. It was Billy trying to track me down-apparantly he had just received a call from our adoption facilitator that a birthmom had picked us! He told me to grab my cell and to make sure to pick it up when it rang. Shortly after that I was on the phone for about a half hour learning about our potential birthmom. I was amazed to learn that the baby was due the first part of April!

I knew I needed to square things away for work, so I began talking to my administrators about our match and my possible need to go on leave. One of the many incredible aspects of this beautifully developing situation is that I took a student teacher on this semester. In fact, she will be fully trained and will have her credential at the end of next week! It really couldn't have been more perfect timing!

Because I want to maintain confidentiality, I am not going to go into lots of detail about the situation, but I will share this: there are a number of interesting similarities between Billy, me, and our birthmom, who we had the pleasure of meeting this week! In fact, the similarities are so uncanny, that our adoption facilitator commented on them. She also stated that our meeting went so well, and that it appears that we are watching our destiny unfold. (She explained that she didn't want to sway our decision by saying this, but she said that the feeling was so strong during the meeting.) The next day we all decided to move forward with the adoption!

There are lots of details to work out as we get ready for little Liam-yes, we are expecting a boy! Please continue to pray that everything will continue to come together smoothly. A side note: I have prayed all along that God's hand would be VERY apparant, so much so that non-believers would recognize it. I've been told by several that there are too many "coincidences" that have come together for this to happen. Also, one person has told me that they have had goose bumps as they hear each development. Then there is my dear friend who had a dream about two weeks ago (which she had emailed me about before hand) that I would be in the delivery room with the birthmom. At the end of our match meeting, our birthmom asked me whether I could be in the delivery room when the baby comes! This is was one of a few times that I became emotional to say the least!

I can't thank you all enough for your love, support, encouragement, and prayers through the years. Our journey isn't ending. I know it's just beginning!

Tuesday, March 15, 2011

Most Frequently Asked ?s

I woke up this a.m. itching to do some writing. However, I needed to head to Willows. Right before I dashed out the door, I scribbled on a pad of paper a quick brainstorm. Many of you have questioned Billy and I about our decision to take on a second job, and I want to address as many of these questions in one fell swoop.

1. Why have you and Billy decided to take on second jobs by becoming ACN representatives?

*We decided to become ACN representatives for a few different reasons: first, Billy is a mortgage banker, and we all know how the market has been lately. Second, ultimately Heather would love the ability to stay home with the baby at some point-though this probably won't happen for a couple of years. Third, we love the concept of the ACN home based business, and it made lots of sense to us!

2. Why ACN?

*Though we have been approached by other networking business reps, ACN is the only home based business that made sense in this economy since it is not product based. How awesome to be able to provide name telecommunication essential services (landline, cell phone, internet, satellite tv, tech support, and home security), possibly at a lower cost. It is the world's largest direct seller of telecommunications and home services. ACN is an international services provider conducting business within 23 countries, and it has been in existence since 1993.

3. Is ACN a pyramid?

*Absolutely not! Billy and I thoroughly researched this company before joining. I would hope that our friends and family realize that we never would have gotten into anything even remotely shady. We are professionals, and we make great strides to adhere to the highest standards. ACN's competitive advantage is relationship marketing is used to build the business. Network marketing is one of the oldest, effective business plans.

4. Do you have to be a tech person to join ACN?

*I laugh because anyone who knows me knows that I am the furthest thing from being tech savvy. Instead, you need a work ethic and a desire to help people. There are so many people hurting in this economy. To one person, ACN may be a perfect business opportunity. To another person, ACN may be a way for someone to save money on essential services.


5. Do you have to invest lots of time in ACN?

*Not at all! The beauty of ACN is you can fit it into the cracks of your life. If you decide to become an ACN rep, you decide how much time, effort, and energy you will invest. That's what I love about this company-the possibilities are endless!

6. Is ACN a credible company?

*Definitely! In 2006, Donald Trump offered to purchase ACN. He was highly impressed by the company's growth and technological advancements. However, ACN owners opted not to sell. Instead, Donald Trump has become a spokesperson for the company. ACN's videophone was featured on an episode of the Celebrity Apprentice in 2009. Trump is often a key speaker at ACN conferences. In fact, Donald Trump will be announcing at the ACN San Jose national conference whether he plans to run for President! Additionally, three ex-state attorney generals are considered staff of ACN, providing regular legal counsel to ensure the company adheres to the highest legal and ethical standards. A local sidenote: ever eat a local Casa Ramos? Michelle Hill is part owner of 14 of these restaraunts, and she is also a part of the ACN family. Hill and other business owners recognize the huge potential of ACN, and they find/make time for it and their other multiple business ventures.

7. What is the purpose of your Celebrity Apprentice Party on March 27?

*We have a few reasons for hosting this party. First of all, our business, ACN is making an encore appearance for two whole hours! For the first time in network history a home-based business opportunity will be presented on primetime television!!!! ( You will see how excited I am about this as I sprinkle more exclamation points into my writing. ) Companies pay big bucks to have their 2 minute long commercials air during the Celebrity Apprentice. Yet my company will be featured for two hours, endorsed by Donald J. Trump! This is definitely a reason to celebrate!!! We are throwing a party, and we are hoping that everyone can attend. In fact, we have arranged for us to watch the episode online via our big screen tv., so that we can view it at 6 p.m. opposed to 9 p.m. We have done this to accommodate everyone who works early and/or have children. Plus, we are serving dinner! In case anyone is concerned that this is going to be a high pressure, twist your arm, type of meeting- it won't be! The business opportunity and the services will be presented but in an informative, guilt-free way. Come to celebrate our new business, to learn more about it, and then decide what you think. You definitely owe it to yourself and to your loved ones! If you are able to attend, send Heather or Billy a RSVP via messaging on FB. If you are unable to attend, watch the Celebrity Apprentice on NBC at 9 p.m.