Disclaimer: This post is VERY sensitive in nature. Because of the subject matter, the privacy setting has been adjusted on Facebook. The purpose of the post is to educate others as to the longterm impact infertility has upon many women. Do you remember this nugget of wisdom? "First of all, he said, if you can learn a simple trick, Scout, you'll get along better with all kinds of folks. You never really understand a person until you consider things from his point of view...until you climb into his skin and walk around in it." Atticus-Harper Lee's To Kill a Mockingbird. This post will give you that opportunity-to crawl into the skin of a woman who has struggled with the deepest wounds caused by infertility.
"First comes loves, then comes marriage, then comes a baby in a baby carriage..." Growing up we recited little sing-songy rhymes about life, played with our dolls, and scrawled MASH on our paper to see what kind of job, home, spouse, and number of children we would have, without understanding that none of those things come easily-let alone having children. In my growing up years, I don't know if I was even aware of infertility. I don't recall anyone I knew struggling with infertility, nor do I remember discussing it in our Family Living class at Liberty Christian High School (was that what our class was called?). The Center of Disease Control and Prevention reports that 1.5 million women in the United States are infertile. Aside from the physical impacts of infertility, there are very significant psychological impacts.
It makes sense that infertility impacts women in such a deep psychological way. It comes from the assumption that when you grow up and get married, you are going to have children some day. I had it figured out. I wanted three kids: a boy first, then a second, boy, and a little girl. I wanted the older brothers to protect the younger sister. Fast forward to our struggle to have a family, those dreams were not easy to set aside. With each unproductive month of "trying," I began feeling worse and worse about myself. How valuable was I to my husband if I couldn't have a baby? I mean, I clean up okay, but he certainly didn't marry me for my looks, cooking ability, or other domestic talents. I began to hear about friends of mine who struggled with infertility, and their marriage ended! The financial and emotional toll was too much for them. Would it happen to us? I couldn't blame Billy for wanting to move on to "greener (more fertile) pastures."
I began to feel very unattractive. Very unwomanly. Very useless. Very unworthy.The fun part of "trying" to have a baby wasn't fun. In fact, that is an understatement. Imagine sharing precious intimate times with your spouse only to be interuppted with moment killing thoughts like "go ahead, nothing is going to come from this anyway" followed by horrible ugly crying (you can laugh at the ugly crying part). It happened and sometimes still happens.
I know that I am not the only infertile woman who has experieced these deep emotional wounds. According to "Psychological Consequences of Infertility" from the Hellenic Journal of Pschology, infertility can cause self-esteem and self-image issues that can lead to depression and ultimately a lack of sexual satisfaction and marital satisfaction. These psychological impacts of infertility compounded with anxiety (often magnified by hormones when undergoing fertility treatments) and financial pressure, are huge contributors to divorce.
The only way that Billy and I got through any of this, and still get through it, is by the grace of God. Unlike a struggle with weight or any other physical, self-image related issues in which a person has ultimate control, I cannot control my fertility. That is one major reason I have struggled-I'm a control freak and a huge planner. Family planning (ha, ha-I have to laugh at the term or I cry)...BUT, God is ultimately in control. With each year that passes, it becomes more apparent that His best plan for me is not to ever get pregnant. He probably knows that I would have been a psycho pregnant lady-maybe I'd key someone's car or something...Whatever His reason for this, I have to trust that He has my best interest at heart. I also have to constantly remind myself that as a Christian, my value is in Christ. He felt I was worthy enough to purchase with His blood, and because of that I need to live for Him. He didn't purchase me to live a barely making it life, but He wants me to live as a Victor because of all that He has done-through the cross. He conquered our infertility by blessing us with Liam, and He may choose to do that again.
In my strongest, most victorious voice, don't you dare feel sorry for me! I'm learning to rejoice in these emotional scars. When people hear about our struggle, I get to brag about what God has done for us. I get to encourage other ladies who are in the midst of the rollercoaster, and I am blessed by the relationships that have resulted from all of this. So really, our infertility is a gift that keeps on giving!
Saturday, July 11, 2015
Thursday, July 9, 2015
Recent Reflections
And three years without blogging went-just like that (snaps fingers). Wow...I relied on blogging to help me address the deep sadness that I experienced during our journey to start a family and to help me keep people informed about how Liam was doing during his first year of life. Now, I have another reason to blog...
Remember those dreams you had when you were in high school? How you thought your life would turn out-the job, marrital status, kids, etc.? Did life follow your plans? For most people their life probably didn't turn out exactly how they dreamt. So that brings up an issue regarding perspective- do you say "plot twist!" and roll with it, or do you wallow in self-pity? Ten years of the infertility rollercoaster was a constant struggle not to fall in into that pit. After adopting Liam, I thought I had gotten it: like Jacob in the Bible who waited for Rachel literally for years, we had also received our blessing. Hind sight was 20/20. God PROVED faithful. He blessed us beyond what we could have ever imagined. There is nothing we would have changed about our journey-NOTHING... Not the poking and prodding of fertility treatments, not the miscarriages, not the emotional toll it took on Billy and I individually, not the strain it put on our marriage, nor the financial debt-because it ultimately lead us to God's perfect plan for us. Now he's four years old!
So, where do we go from here? That is the question we are faced with, and time is passing us by at lightening speed. Billy and I aren't getting any younger, and neither is Liam lol. When Billy and I were married, we dreamt of having the 2.5 kids (.5 was that another baby or a dog?-could never figure that out...). Of course we had no idea that we would struggle for as long as we did to have a family. We wanted to exhaust all of our resources, thus the fertility treatments. We didn't want to look back, and have regret for not giving it "a good ol' college try." However, we continue to experience the consquences of devoting so much of our finances to becoming a family-not just on fertility treatments but also the cost of adopting. Because of that, Billy and I have taken a very passive stance in further expanding our family. Years ago, I told Billy that I thought God might surprise us in the future. That maybe He didn't want us to be so proactive to pursue baby #2. Maye he wanted us to wait for Him to bring a situation to us.
That is exactly what happened-twice. However, neither obviously panned out. When Liam wasn't even a year old, Billy received a phone call from our social worker that a college girl was wanting to put her baby up for adoption. Our heads spinned as we tried to imagine having two babies in diapers. Billy continously called and checked in with our social worker, but the mother decided to keep the baby. Then in March of this year, I was contacted by a friend about birthparents who wanted to place their child up for adoption. This situation was a bit stickier, and ultimately did not work out either. Billy rolled with it all as a champ. I had a harder time-I felt like God was waving a carrot in front of my face, just out of reach. It felt like a cruel trick. Once again I realized that I needed to rage battle with my thoughts.
As Christians, that is the struggle, right? To not just rattle off Jeremiah 29:11 and Romans 8:28. You have to believe that God really has the best plan for us, and you have to abandon what we thought was going to happen. Accept, and move on. Not so easy, but something that is essential: die to self; live for Christ. I know that I am not the only person that is struggling with this concept. We need to pray for each other as we endure our unqiue trials, refer to previous times in our life when God has proven himself faithful, we need to feed our soul by devouring His Word, and we need to pour ourselves out to Him. Something Billy and I need to do more often as we contemplate our current passive stance or taking on a more proactive stance to add to our family. Your prayers are greatly appreciated!
Remember those dreams you had when you were in high school? How you thought your life would turn out-the job, marrital status, kids, etc.? Did life follow your plans? For most people their life probably didn't turn out exactly how they dreamt. So that brings up an issue regarding perspective- do you say "plot twist!" and roll with it, or do you wallow in self-pity? Ten years of the infertility rollercoaster was a constant struggle not to fall in into that pit. After adopting Liam, I thought I had gotten it: like Jacob in the Bible who waited for Rachel literally for years, we had also received our blessing. Hind sight was 20/20. God PROVED faithful. He blessed us beyond what we could have ever imagined. There is nothing we would have changed about our journey-NOTHING... Not the poking and prodding of fertility treatments, not the miscarriages, not the emotional toll it took on Billy and I individually, not the strain it put on our marriage, nor the financial debt-because it ultimately lead us to God's perfect plan for us. Now he's four years old!
So, where do we go from here? That is the question we are faced with, and time is passing us by at lightening speed. Billy and I aren't getting any younger, and neither is Liam lol. When Billy and I were married, we dreamt of having the 2.5 kids (.5 was that another baby or a dog?-could never figure that out...). Of course we had no idea that we would struggle for as long as we did to have a family. We wanted to exhaust all of our resources, thus the fertility treatments. We didn't want to look back, and have regret for not giving it "a good ol' college try." However, we continue to experience the consquences of devoting so much of our finances to becoming a family-not just on fertility treatments but also the cost of adopting. Because of that, Billy and I have taken a very passive stance in further expanding our family. Years ago, I told Billy that I thought God might surprise us in the future. That maybe He didn't want us to be so proactive to pursue baby #2. Maye he wanted us to wait for Him to bring a situation to us.
That is exactly what happened-twice. However, neither obviously panned out. When Liam wasn't even a year old, Billy received a phone call from our social worker that a college girl was wanting to put her baby up for adoption. Our heads spinned as we tried to imagine having two babies in diapers. Billy continously called and checked in with our social worker, but the mother decided to keep the baby. Then in March of this year, I was contacted by a friend about birthparents who wanted to place their child up for adoption. This situation was a bit stickier, and ultimately did not work out either. Billy rolled with it all as a champ. I had a harder time-I felt like God was waving a carrot in front of my face, just out of reach. It felt like a cruel trick. Once again I realized that I needed to rage battle with my thoughts.
As Christians, that is the struggle, right? To not just rattle off Jeremiah 29:11 and Romans 8:28. You have to believe that God really has the best plan for us, and you have to abandon what we thought was going to happen. Accept, and move on. Not so easy, but something that is essential: die to self; live for Christ. I know that I am not the only person that is struggling with this concept. We need to pray for each other as we endure our unqiue trials, refer to previous times in our life when God has proven himself faithful, we need to feed our soul by devouring His Word, and we need to pour ourselves out to Him. Something Billy and I need to do more often as we contemplate our current passive stance or taking on a more proactive stance to add to our family. Your prayers are greatly appreciated!
Sunday, June 24, 2012
We Will Never Forget
The phrase "We will never forget" became, for lack of a better term, the catch phrase (and battle cry) after the attacks on America on 9/11. The phrase is often used to memorialize a lost loved one. You can see it transfered on the back windows of vehicles with the date of a loss. The phrase evokes emotion. It shows the value and the importance of what was lost. To me, the phrase highlights the importance of a memory whether it be of a specific person or event. When I was thinking about our infertility journey, this phrase seemed especially appropriate.
Some people think that our infertility journey is over because we adopted. When in fact, it really isn't. We still deal with the consequences of our decisions made during the journey. We still deal with insensitive comments made by people. We still wonder how we are going to add to our family in a couple of years, but mostly with great anticipation. Liam is a beautiful miracle, a conclusion to a series of amazingly choreographed events.
Because we recognize the importance and value of our journey, we have made a conscious effort not to forget. People who are struggling with infertility or are interested in adoption often cross our paths. After bringing Liam home from the hospital, Billy shared that one of our nurses told him that she and her husband had just underwent another unsuccessful treatment cycle and were considering adoption. She asked him what agency we went through and a few questions about the process. Family and friends know that we welcome having people referred to us. We want people who are dealing with infertility to know that they are not alone. We want to show them God's love. Feelings of loss, abandonment by God, jealousy, lack of peace, disappointment, and the whole gamete of emotions one feels on the rollercoaster of infertility put such a strain on a couple. There's nothing like having someone come along side of you to say,"I know how you feel-I've been there. I'll listen. I'll support. I'll advise. You tell me what you need, when you need it."
We were fortunate to have those support people in our lives. Some of them were infertility survivors. However, we were surprised that not every infertility survivor does this. There are those who seem to forget their struggle. It seems to happen most with some couples who are blessed with biological children. Maybe the struggle was too great for them to rehash. Maybe life had become too busy.Or, maybe they felt that it was too painful for a childless couple to be around their newly expanded family. I'm not judging by any means, and this is not directed to anyone. We have known LOTS of couples directly and indirectly who have struggled with infertility, and to our knowledge, there has been a small percentage who don't reach out to those still struggling. As a Christian, I believe that we go through struggles so that we can help others. However, that's my opinion.
All that said, I want to pose a challenge for those infertility survivors who are on the other side of the journey (who have either had biological children or have decided to remain a family of two): please never forget! If you see a someone/couple struggling with infertility, reach out your hand of support. What you have is invaluable-you can relate! Don't you remember how you felt when you discovered that in an individual, when you were hurting?
God, please help us to be sensitive to the needs of others. Help us to intentionally look for those who need your love and support. Please give us the knowledge and strength to get out of our comfort zone. Thank you for loving us and never abandoning us. Help us to show that love. In Jesus' name.
"We Will Never Forget!"
Some people think that our infertility journey is over because we adopted. When in fact, it really isn't. We still deal with the consequences of our decisions made during the journey. We still deal with insensitive comments made by people. We still wonder how we are going to add to our family in a couple of years, but mostly with great anticipation. Liam is a beautiful miracle, a conclusion to a series of amazingly choreographed events.
Because we recognize the importance and value of our journey, we have made a conscious effort not to forget. People who are struggling with infertility or are interested in adoption often cross our paths. After bringing Liam home from the hospital, Billy shared that one of our nurses told him that she and her husband had just underwent another unsuccessful treatment cycle and were considering adoption. She asked him what agency we went through and a few questions about the process. Family and friends know that we welcome having people referred to us. We want people who are dealing with infertility to know that they are not alone. We want to show them God's love. Feelings of loss, abandonment by God, jealousy, lack of peace, disappointment, and the whole gamete of emotions one feels on the rollercoaster of infertility put such a strain on a couple. There's nothing like having someone come along side of you to say,"I know how you feel-I've been there. I'll listen. I'll support. I'll advise. You tell me what you need, when you need it."
We were fortunate to have those support people in our lives. Some of them were infertility survivors. However, we were surprised that not every infertility survivor does this. There are those who seem to forget their struggle. It seems to happen most with some couples who are blessed with biological children. Maybe the struggle was too great for them to rehash. Maybe life had become too busy.Or, maybe they felt that it was too painful for a childless couple to be around their newly expanded family. I'm not judging by any means, and this is not directed to anyone. We have known LOTS of couples directly and indirectly who have struggled with infertility, and to our knowledge, there has been a small percentage who don't reach out to those still struggling. As a Christian, I believe that we go through struggles so that we can help others. However, that's my opinion.
All that said, I want to pose a challenge for those infertility survivors who are on the other side of the journey (who have either had biological children or have decided to remain a family of two): please never forget! If you see a someone/couple struggling with infertility, reach out your hand of support. What you have is invaluable-you can relate! Don't you remember how you felt when you discovered that in an individual, when you were hurting?
God, please help us to be sensitive to the needs of others. Help us to intentionally look for those who need your love and support. Please give us the knowledge and strength to get out of our comfort zone. Thank you for loving us and never abandoning us. Help us to show that love. In Jesus' name.
"We Will Never Forget!"
Tuesday, June 12, 2012
Liam's first year-God's Faithfulness
I can't believe I'm finally getting on here-after a very long hiatus! I have so much to share about this year with Liam, and what God has been teaching our family of three lately. Some of what I'm about to share, may be a little shocking. Some may consider a bit personal. After our nearly 10 year journey to achieve a family, dealing with doctors, treatments, support groups, and life in general, almost nothing seems too personal anymore lol. As mentioned before, I/we do reserve the right at this time not to discuss in detail our previous treatments and various aspects of our open adoption. My hope is that anyone who stumbles upon this blog will glean the following: an empathy for couples dealing with infertility, and a deeper understanding/appreciation of the gift of adoption; (on a spiritiual level) God has a unique adventure/plan for your life, and it's greater than your wildest dreams; in the process, He will allow uncomfortable circumstances to grow us-the goal to become more like Him! No matter how challenging, never, never give up!
Everyone has a degree of stick to itness. Sometimes we stick to or hold on to unhealthy habits. I've blogged before about my battle with anxiety. This year was jam packed with worrisome scenarios. It's natural to worry about the health of your newborn, the transition back to work, etc., but when intense situations occur that are completely out of one's control, things are bumped up a notch on the worry-meter! During the first couple of months of the school year, there were some major concerns regarding Billy's health. For months, he had been smelling cigarette smoke when it wasn't there (phantom smells), and he finally went to the doctor. Our primary care told him there was a chance that he had a tumor in his brain or on his olifactory nerve in his nose. After seeing a specialist, having an MRI done, and awaiting results, we finally learned that it was sinus infection and not a tumor causing this strange symptom. For months, I had worried about Billy, had insomnia, and cried holding Liam. I was convinced that we would be getting ready for brain surgery-I'm not kidding, this consumed me! I prayed about it fervently, consistently. It wasn't until the tumor was ruled out, and Billy's sinus surgery was over in October that I started to relax. Temporarily.
In December, Liam developed two awful looking boils. One on his groin area, and another on his chest. Two doctors confirmed that they felt the boil on his chest was MRSA, and treated him accordingly. We have no idea how Liam contracted MRSA, but we were informed that it is much more prevalent than most people think. My germaphobia kicked into high gear. We washed clothes in warm water, sprayed Lysol like it was going out of style, washed towels after one use, and began bathing him in Hibicleanse. I washed my hands until they cracked. Biting my nails, an already disgusting habit of mine, became even more disgusting. Thank God Liam recovered at home with the prescribed antibiotics in time to enjoy the holidays, and he hasn't had a reoccurance.
In January, we were blessed with the move of my parents from Redding to Chico. Mom has watched Liam half of the week, and it has been amazing to have my parents in the same neighborhood literally! They have been a huge support as each bump in the road has happened. I thank God everyday for it, and the consistent reminder of how they raised me. Despite the anxiety and stress, the truths of my youth play as a recording in my head-"He will never leave you nor forsake you." "I know the plans I have for you says the Lord. Plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future." They have been words of comfort through this whole year as well as our most recent trial.
Shortly after Liam was born, I began experiencing some very strange symptoms. I chocked it up to minimal sleep, stress, and my system being out of wack since my treatment days. I put it on the back burner with all that was going on, and when a few more symptoms were added into the mix recently, I knew that I shouldn't ignore it anymore. I was very convinced that something very serious, and life threatening was looming. Last Thursday, my doctor spent an hour and half with Billy and me, and did an ultrasound. I was happy to learn that I am going to be okay. The harsh reality is that I'm undergoing some hormonal changes that I would like to think that I was too young to experience, but alas, I'm not lol. I've been giving a prescription and advice to embetter the quality of my life. We will see if I'll be back to normal as my doctor promised-I think I'm beyond that!
In light of this change, I'm not sure where this leaves us with our family planning. Billy and I would like to extend our family in the not too distant future. If it happened through a natural pregnancy, we would not only be thrilled but it is becoming more and more apparent that that would truly be a miracle. God's still in the miracle making business, so we aren't writing that off! We have talked about adopting again. We have such great respect for our birthmother, and we both feel we could never thank her enough for the blessing of Liam. She moved out of state, across the country back in April. Prior to her move, we had a visitation. We assured her that we would continue to provide pictures quarterly, and we would keep in touch. We haven't heard from her since her move. I really hope she's getting acclimated to things, and that she knows in her heart that Liam is treasured, loved, and well cared for.
When I think about how the adoption of Liam came about, I get excited. I know that He's put the desire for more children in mine and Billy's hearts, and someday it will come to fruition. I know that even though things may seem stagnate now, there's a chance that He's moving people and scenarios behind the scenes. I'm hopeful that more blessings are in store. That makes the waiting room of life a little more bearable.
***New 6/19/2012 Below is a link for an Inferility survey. The purpose of the survey is to provide me with useful information for a very unique, innovative book that I am hoping to write on the subject matter. The survey is confidential, and you can skip any questions. After taking the survey, please post a link on your FB to "Liam's first year-God's Faithfulness." Include with it the little descripion that I've posted here (feel free to include my name), and strongly encourage your friends to help me out. I think people who don't know me may be interested in the survey, especially if they know it's research for a book, that it's confidential, and questions can be skipped. Thank you all for your support!
http://www.surveymonkey.com/s/N3QNW6H
Everyone has a degree of stick to itness. Sometimes we stick to or hold on to unhealthy habits. I've blogged before about my battle with anxiety. This year was jam packed with worrisome scenarios. It's natural to worry about the health of your newborn, the transition back to work, etc., but when intense situations occur that are completely out of one's control, things are bumped up a notch on the worry-meter! During the first couple of months of the school year, there were some major concerns regarding Billy's health. For months, he had been smelling cigarette smoke when it wasn't there (phantom smells), and he finally went to the doctor. Our primary care told him there was a chance that he had a tumor in his brain or on his olifactory nerve in his nose. After seeing a specialist, having an MRI done, and awaiting results, we finally learned that it was sinus infection and not a tumor causing this strange symptom. For months, I had worried about Billy, had insomnia, and cried holding Liam. I was convinced that we would be getting ready for brain surgery-I'm not kidding, this consumed me! I prayed about it fervently, consistently. It wasn't until the tumor was ruled out, and Billy's sinus surgery was over in October that I started to relax. Temporarily.
In December, Liam developed two awful looking boils. One on his groin area, and another on his chest. Two doctors confirmed that they felt the boil on his chest was MRSA, and treated him accordingly. We have no idea how Liam contracted MRSA, but we were informed that it is much more prevalent than most people think. My germaphobia kicked into high gear. We washed clothes in warm water, sprayed Lysol like it was going out of style, washed towels after one use, and began bathing him in Hibicleanse. I washed my hands until they cracked. Biting my nails, an already disgusting habit of mine, became even more disgusting. Thank God Liam recovered at home with the prescribed antibiotics in time to enjoy the holidays, and he hasn't had a reoccurance.
In January, we were blessed with the move of my parents from Redding to Chico. Mom has watched Liam half of the week, and it has been amazing to have my parents in the same neighborhood literally! They have been a huge support as each bump in the road has happened. I thank God everyday for it, and the consistent reminder of how they raised me. Despite the anxiety and stress, the truths of my youth play as a recording in my head-"He will never leave you nor forsake you." "I know the plans I have for you says the Lord. Plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future." They have been words of comfort through this whole year as well as our most recent trial.
Shortly after Liam was born, I began experiencing some very strange symptoms. I chocked it up to minimal sleep, stress, and my system being out of wack since my treatment days. I put it on the back burner with all that was going on, and when a few more symptoms were added into the mix recently, I knew that I shouldn't ignore it anymore. I was very convinced that something very serious, and life threatening was looming. Last Thursday, my doctor spent an hour and half with Billy and me, and did an ultrasound. I was happy to learn that I am going to be okay. The harsh reality is that I'm undergoing some hormonal changes that I would like to think that I was too young to experience, but alas, I'm not lol. I've been giving a prescription and advice to embetter the quality of my life. We will see if I'll be back to normal as my doctor promised-I think I'm beyond that!
In light of this change, I'm not sure where this leaves us with our family planning. Billy and I would like to extend our family in the not too distant future. If it happened through a natural pregnancy, we would not only be thrilled but it is becoming more and more apparent that that would truly be a miracle. God's still in the miracle making business, so we aren't writing that off! We have talked about adopting again. We have such great respect for our birthmother, and we both feel we could never thank her enough for the blessing of Liam. She moved out of state, across the country back in April. Prior to her move, we had a visitation. We assured her that we would continue to provide pictures quarterly, and we would keep in touch. We haven't heard from her since her move. I really hope she's getting acclimated to things, and that she knows in her heart that Liam is treasured, loved, and well cared for.
When I think about how the adoption of Liam came about, I get excited. I know that He's put the desire for more children in mine and Billy's hearts, and someday it will come to fruition. I know that even though things may seem stagnate now, there's a chance that He's moving people and scenarios behind the scenes. I'm hopeful that more blessings are in store. That makes the waiting room of life a little more bearable.
***New 6/19/2012 Below is a link for an Inferility survey. The purpose of the survey is to provide me with useful information for a very unique, innovative book that I am hoping to write on the subject matter. The survey is confidential, and you can skip any questions. After taking the survey, please post a link on your FB to "Liam's first year-God's Faithfulness." Include with it the little descripion that I've posted here (feel free to include my name), and strongly encourage your friends to help me out. I think people who don't know me may be interested in the survey, especially if they know it's research for a book, that it's confidential, and questions can be skipped. Thank you all for your support!
http://www.surveymonkey.com/s/N3QNW6H
Saturday, July 23, 2011
Three month update
I cannot believe that I haven't blogged since June. I am having withdrawals lol! I thought I would give an overview of my perspective of how we are adjusting-myself, Liam, and Billy and I as a couple :).
Me: I really couldn't be happier! I can't believe how perfect Liam is for us! As a person who hasn't been around a lot of babies, I have tried to glean from friends, family, and online (which can be dangerous), books etc. what I need to know to be the best mom for Liam. As horrible as it seems, I kind of let my prayer life go on the back burner. I think the pure joy and relief of having our deepest desire and prayer request answered made me feel like-every little need I have now seems trivial. But, at one point when I was concerned about Liam a couple of weeks ago, I realized that a Mother needs to pray! And, obviously as with any relationship, we as Christians need to make time and work at being intimate with God. I had also noticed that I was allowing some old bad habits to slide back into my daily routines, so I am really trying to be better! Additionally, we are still needing to figure things out with me going back to work in a few weeks. I do have a peace that God will continue to coordinate all the details just as He did when bringing Liam into our lives.
Liam: is 3 and 1/2 months old, 16 lbs, and 25 inches long-a BIG boy! He started rolling from back to tummy when he wasn 't even 3 months old. A few days ago, he rolled tummy to back, which is much harder! When he rolls over, he pushes up somewhat, not all the way. He has also begun scooting! I can't believe how far he can go in a short amount of time. Because he seems to be doing things early, we are convinced that he will crawl, walk, and talk early too! In fact, several family members, have witnessed him saying "mama," and Billy was teaching him how to say "hi" last weekend. He went back and forth with him about four times-with him saying "hi!" NO JOKE! I'm not saying he's a genius, but we have been amazed! As for his tummy, he is feeling SO much better! We changed him from Soy to a tummy sensitive, milk based formula, and he has adjusted well. As for sleep, Liam is sleeping 7+ hrs at a time, but he is still waking up early in the a.m. for a feeding, which Billy graciously does every day! We had our third and final visitation of this year with his birth mother yesterday, prior to her moving to Florida. We also have a peace about this. She will continue to remain in contact, but the move will give her a chance to be surrounded by family and to have a fresh start.
Billy and me: We love our small family! We took Liam to church for the first time, and I'm so glad to be returning to that routine! He did quite well; however, Billy did have to take him out to the foyer when he started babbling and yawned loud at the end of the sermon lol! A week from last Sunday, we celebrated our 12th anniversary! My Grandma came over to watch Liam, so we could go to dinner! Our first date in 3 months! We plan to be better about that. In fact, my hope, is that we get to take the boat out together at least one time this summer before I start back in a few weeks...
Finally, so of the most exciting news we have to share: my aunt helped my parents find a house in Chico! It is literally around the corner from us! They are in the process of buying it, and God willing, plan to move in October or November! We are praying that their house in Redding sells soon.
As mentioned earlier, I couldn't be happier. I haven't felt this burden-free in years. I'm not saying everything is perfect. We still have a few things to figure out, but everyday we thank God for bringing Liam into our lives. This has really helped increase my faith and trust in His plan for our lives, and it has given me a deeper understanding of His love for us and His desire to bless us.
Thursday, June 23, 2011
A Summary of Our Journey
Since there are some people who may not be aware of our latest regarding our adoption of Liam, I'm posting a summary of our journey. It is a little on the long side (sorry in advance), but I hope that it touches people's hearts and that people will see God's faithfulness and goodness. This was read at our baby shower last weekend:
I can't tell you what it means to me and my family that you are here to celebrate the addition of Liam. All babies are a special blessing, and each has their own unique story. I believe, though I am especially partial, that Liam's story was a time sensitive, coordinate miracle, with lots of twists and turns. I felt that if I didn't tell the story, that I wouldn't be honoring the one who I believe worked out all of the details. Since Billy and I are the ones who experienced it, I was told that it would be best coming from one of us-so to make it a little easier, I'll be reading Liam's story...
As all of you know, Billy and I wanted to have a family for about nine years prior to Liam's arrival. After lots of doctors, meds, treatments, along with the physical, emotional, and spiritual drain of infertility, we both decided to move forward with open adoption. We had spent lots of time praying, researching, and I had even spoken considerably to one of my cousins who was adopted. We were referred to a local adoption facilitator who one of Billy's co-workers adopted through. We entered the adoption program in September of last year. We compiled a profile of our life and completed lots of paperwork, and submitted it, praying that a birth mom would select us soon-after all, we had been waiting for so long already. In order to cope with the wait, I began to blog, which has been extremely therapeutic.
At the end of February, we were feeling discouraged that we had not gotten any "bites" on our profile. We had been in the program for 6 months, so we met with our adoption facilitator, Mari. She explained that there weren't many potential birthmothers entering the program, so we would have to wait a bit longer. However, about two and a half weeks later, on my granmother's birthday (something we will always remember), Mari called Billy to tell him that a birthmother, who was due in a mont, had picked us! Within a week, we met face to face with her, which was mediated by Mari. Though we were nervous, the meeting went exceptionally well. Even Mari was amazed by the funny little commonalities we had with our birthmother-she sings (we both sing), she dances (Billy dances), and she lived in Oroville for much of her growing us years (where Billy is from),a nd most all, we share the same faith! Prior to our meeting, I had prayed that if this was the right birthmother, that God would provide some kind of confirmation. I planned to ask her why she chose us. I hoped that she would answer that it was due to our shared faith. She I asked her, that was exactly what she said!
However, even after that, we had our doubts. It didn't seem possible that this could be our time. I feel that God used some special friends of ours to encourage us to take the leap and to follow through with the match-they believed that this was an answer to our prayers. After choosing to move forward, I was especially amazed by how quickly all the details worked out. Since it was the end of the school year, I decided to go on leave from my teaching job at Willows High. I knew it would be ideal to have that time and the summer to bond with Liam (, the name we had chosen because it is derived from Billy's name, William). A week after choosing to move forward, my student teacher completed her student teaching. She was an obvious choice for a longterm sub since she knew my students and was trained. Ironically, I had never been presented the opportunity to have a student teacher prior to this school year!)
As Liam's due date drew near, we rushed to get baby necessities and the nursery set up. I prepared my students for my pending departure, we worked on adoption paperwork, and we waited. One day we received a call that our birthmom was in labor only to find out that it was false labor. A week after Liam's due date, he still hadn't arrived, so the doctor decided to induce.Billy and I made a short trip up to Feather River Hospital, and kept our birthmother company. The drug was administered, and we waited for contractions. That evening, we were awakened by the doctor who informed us that things weren't progressing as he had hoped, and that he would be doing an emergency c-section. We prayed together and hoped for the best. Liam was born on April 18 at 11:45 p.m. He shares the same birthday as two of my cousins, Katie and Greg, and of our good friend Kathy's daughter, Cole. So he is in great company!
The next day, family visited us. Our birthmom share Liam with us, and she graciously told Billy that she was willing to meet any of our family members. Earlier in the day, I had "met" her mom and sister over the phone-an amazing thing!) My mom and one of my aunts met our birthmom, and it was a very special opportunity for them to thank her for helping us to achieve our dreams and to recognize her for the brave choice to provide Liam with an adoptive life.
Prior to leaving the hospital, our birthmom asked the hospital chaplin whether she would pray a blessing over Liam. Just before prayer, the chaplin told us that she and her husband have desired to have a family for years, and that she hoped someday they would be blessed through adoption just as we have been. Her payer was absolutely beautiful-just as I would imagine Liam's church dedication might be. As you can imagine, our birthmom, Billy, and I were all in tears by the end. In order to help with the separation, it is advised that the adoptive parents and birthparents leave the hospital at the same time. That is exactly what we did. The ride home and pretty much the last two months have seemed so surreal!
When we arrived home that night, Billy told me that he had spoken to one of Liam's nurses, and she asked him to what extent we had tried to have a family. They swapped infertility stories, and the nurse said she and her husband will most likely adopt. As I think about the chaplin and the nurse, I can't help but wonder what kind of impact our experience will have on them. I wish I could know! It has been quite a journey to become a family of 3, and through it I've related to and drawn strength from a few scripture references. The one that I feel best captures the tone of our journey's culmination is: Ephesians 3:20: "Now all glory to God who is able through His mighty powerat work within us, to accomplish infinitely more than we might ask or think." The blessing of Liam has exceeded what Billy and I could have ever imagined. We are so thankful to God, and so grateful for the love, support, prayers, and words of encouragement we have received from all of you, our family and friends.
I can't tell you what it means to me and my family that you are here to celebrate the addition of Liam. All babies are a special blessing, and each has their own unique story. I believe, though I am especially partial, that Liam's story was a time sensitive, coordinate miracle, with lots of twists and turns. I felt that if I didn't tell the story, that I wouldn't be honoring the one who I believe worked out all of the details. Since Billy and I are the ones who experienced it, I was told that it would be best coming from one of us-so to make it a little easier, I'll be reading Liam's story...
As all of you know, Billy and I wanted to have a family for about nine years prior to Liam's arrival. After lots of doctors, meds, treatments, along with the physical, emotional, and spiritual drain of infertility, we both decided to move forward with open adoption. We had spent lots of time praying, researching, and I had even spoken considerably to one of my cousins who was adopted. We were referred to a local adoption facilitator who one of Billy's co-workers adopted through. We entered the adoption program in September of last year. We compiled a profile of our life and completed lots of paperwork, and submitted it, praying that a birth mom would select us soon-after all, we had been waiting for so long already. In order to cope with the wait, I began to blog, which has been extremely therapeutic.
At the end of February, we were feeling discouraged that we had not gotten any "bites" on our profile. We had been in the program for 6 months, so we met with our adoption facilitator, Mari. She explained that there weren't many potential birthmothers entering the program, so we would have to wait a bit longer. However, about two and a half weeks later, on my granmother's birthday (something we will always remember), Mari called Billy to tell him that a birthmother, who was due in a mont, had picked us! Within a week, we met face to face with her, which was mediated by Mari. Though we were nervous, the meeting went exceptionally well. Even Mari was amazed by the funny little commonalities we had with our birthmother-she sings (we both sing), she dances (Billy dances), and she lived in Oroville for much of her growing us years (where Billy is from),a nd most all, we share the same faith! Prior to our meeting, I had prayed that if this was the right birthmother, that God would provide some kind of confirmation. I planned to ask her why she chose us. I hoped that she would answer that it was due to our shared faith. She I asked her, that was exactly what she said!
However, even after that, we had our doubts. It didn't seem possible that this could be our time. I feel that God used some special friends of ours to encourage us to take the leap and to follow through with the match-they believed that this was an answer to our prayers. After choosing to move forward, I was especially amazed by how quickly all the details worked out. Since it was the end of the school year, I decided to go on leave from my teaching job at Willows High. I knew it would be ideal to have that time and the summer to bond with Liam (, the name we had chosen because it is derived from Billy's name, William). A week after choosing to move forward, my student teacher completed her student teaching. She was an obvious choice for a longterm sub since she knew my students and was trained. Ironically, I had never been presented the opportunity to have a student teacher prior to this school year!)
As Liam's due date drew near, we rushed to get baby necessities and the nursery set up. I prepared my students for my pending departure, we worked on adoption paperwork, and we waited. One day we received a call that our birthmom was in labor only to find out that it was false labor. A week after Liam's due date, he still hadn't arrived, so the doctor decided to induce.Billy and I made a short trip up to Feather River Hospital, and kept our birthmother company. The drug was administered, and we waited for contractions. That evening, we were awakened by the doctor who informed us that things weren't progressing as he had hoped, and that he would be doing an emergency c-section. We prayed together and hoped for the best. Liam was born on April 18 at 11:45 p.m. He shares the same birthday as two of my cousins, Katie and Greg, and of our good friend Kathy's daughter, Cole. So he is in great company!
The next day, family visited us. Our birthmom share Liam with us, and she graciously told Billy that she was willing to meet any of our family members. Earlier in the day, I had "met" her mom and sister over the phone-an amazing thing!) My mom and one of my aunts met our birthmom, and it was a very special opportunity for them to thank her for helping us to achieve our dreams and to recognize her for the brave choice to provide Liam with an adoptive life.
Prior to leaving the hospital, our birthmom asked the hospital chaplin whether she would pray a blessing over Liam. Just before prayer, the chaplin told us that she and her husband have desired to have a family for years, and that she hoped someday they would be blessed through adoption just as we have been. Her payer was absolutely beautiful-just as I would imagine Liam's church dedication might be. As you can imagine, our birthmom, Billy, and I were all in tears by the end. In order to help with the separation, it is advised that the adoptive parents and birthparents leave the hospital at the same time. That is exactly what we did. The ride home and pretty much the last two months have seemed so surreal!
When we arrived home that night, Billy told me that he had spoken to one of Liam's nurses, and she asked him to what extent we had tried to have a family. They swapped infertility stories, and the nurse said she and her husband will most likely adopt. As I think about the chaplin and the nurse, I can't help but wonder what kind of impact our experience will have on them. I wish I could know! It has been quite a journey to become a family of 3, and through it I've related to and drawn strength from a few scripture references. The one that I feel best captures the tone of our journey's culmination is: Ephesians 3:20: "Now all glory to God who is able through His mighty powerat work within us, to accomplish infinitely more than we might ask or think." The blessing of Liam has exceeded what Billy and I could have ever imagined. We are so thankful to God, and so grateful for the love, support, prayers, and words of encouragement we have received from all of you, our family and friends.
Tuesday, May 31, 2011
6 Weeks-Sweet Release!
On Memorial Day, Liam turned 6 weeks "old." I can tell from looking at him that he has definitely grown! He appears so much taller, and he is now over 10 lbs. (Especially amazing since he was under 7 lbs when he was born!) His eyes are still a dark blue, but I don't think they will turn brown-maybe hazel or green. I'm routing for green-Billy's eyes are green :). He started cooing about a week and a half ago, and he is now able to coo in response. We have had so much fun talking with him-making these really, strange guttural sounds and having him return a variation of them. We try to grab the video camera in time, but we always miss the $10,000 AFV worthy clips. He is also grabbing things A LOT-the burp cloth on my shoulder, the bottle as I'm feeding him, my hair lol. He is also a morning baby-nearly every morning as we peer over the edge of the bassinet, he gives us the biggest, gummiest smile :). As for his tummy problems, they still linger but his attacks do not seem as frequent. We are going to schedule an appointment this week because we do not like the med he is on, and we are questioning the diagnosis of a spastic colon since testing was never conducted. Plus, so much of his pain seems gas related. He is developing the cutest personality and his father's sense of humor. He laughs a lot!
Our pediatrician told us we could take him out and about at 6 weeks. Sweet release! Some have asked me if I get out much. I wonder what gave it away that I have been a hermit-my sweat clothes, glasses wearing instead of contacts, or my lack of make up lol (?) The cabin fever was really starting to get to me because on average I was only getting out about once a week on the weekends when I ran errands. I have had several people offer to watch Liam so that I could get out, but since he can be a little more high maintenance due to his tummy problems, I've hesitated. Today I plan to take him to my high school in Willows. It will not be a pass the baby around event but more of a "show and tell" with Germ X :).
I'm excited to get out more and to introduce people to my beautiful son! I haven't even gotten to say that I'm a "mom" or that I have a "son" all that much. There's still so many of my friends and family that haven't had a chance to meet him. We have lots of fun ahead of us!
Our pediatrician told us we could take him out and about at 6 weeks. Sweet release! Some have asked me if I get out much. I wonder what gave it away that I have been a hermit-my sweat clothes, glasses wearing instead of contacts, or my lack of make up lol (?) The cabin fever was really starting to get to me because on average I was only getting out about once a week on the weekends when I ran errands. I have had several people offer to watch Liam so that I could get out, but since he can be a little more high maintenance due to his tummy problems, I've hesitated. Today I plan to take him to my high school in Willows. It will not be a pass the baby around event but more of a "show and tell" with Germ X :).
I'm excited to get out more and to introduce people to my beautiful son! I haven't even gotten to say that I'm a "mom" or that I have a "son" all that much. There's still so many of my friends and family that haven't had a chance to meet him. We have lots of fun ahead of us!
Monday, May 30, 2011
I Didn't Want to Believe
When we had just joined our adoption program last summer, there was one person I just HAD to tell-my dear friend L. Though we have never met face to face (we met through my sister in law, Rachel), we had so much in common. She and her husband went through years of trying, treatments, and disappointments. The one difference-she was able to get pregnant with her son. However, later, when they attempted to have a second child, they learned that God had a different plan. He laid on their hearts the desire for them to adopt. When I called her that day, she offered me a unique perspective that I didn't want to believe: that people tend to be much happier hearing pregnancy news than adoption news. When they were waiting to adopt, some of her friends had gone as far as saying things like "well, maybe now you'll get pregnant." I just didn't want to believe that people could react in such a way. "Certainly it would be different for us," I thought. I mean, our family and friends know how long we have prayed for and desired a child. They know the great measures we've gone to expand our family. When our bundle of joy arrived in the non-traditional way, I expected nothing but ecstatic responses from friends and acquaintances. For the most part, I was right, but not completely.
There was an event that forshadowed our news would not be received as we had anticipated. I had rehearsed over and over in my head how I would explain to my high school students that Billy and I were expecting through adoption. Finally the day came, but reality did not measure up to my vision. When I told my first period class, half way through my exciting news, a usually shy female student said,"Do you mean that there's something wrong with you and your husband medically and you can't get pregnant?" I was thrown a bit off guard. I guess I didn't expect our infertility to be the focus. I told her that doctors weren't able to determine why we couldn't have children, but that I felt there was different plan for us, adoption. I tried my best to explain how excited we were, and I even used it as a teachable moment, explaining," When someone tells you about a pending adoption, it's like they're pregnant. You should tell them congratulations." After class several students, stopped by and wished me their best.
I proceeded to tell my second period class. When a student interrupted my monologue with, "You're going to tell us your pregnant, aren't you?" I responded,"No, but just as exciting news. My husband and I are expecting through adoption." He said flatly,"That's not the same." Again, I was blown away! I went on to explain that it was just as exciting news as a pregnancy, and what was the proper, mannerly way to respond to such news. By the time my third period class rolled around, I felt beat up lol. I thought,"How could one of the happiest things that have ever happened to us be received so poorily? It isn't fair!" But, something different happened during my monologue to my third period class: a group of female students got the biggest smiles on their faces, and all of a sudden, claps erupted, and a wave swept over the rest of my class-the entire class was clapping for our news! What did I do? Cry, of course lol. I was so touched by their response-they got it! But, why did they get it and the others didn't?
I shared with my partner teacher later in the day what it had been like sharing our adoption news. I told her how amazed I was by the flat responses of some of my students, but T put into perspective. She reminded me that many of our students probably don't have family members who were adopted, and the may not know of anyone who was adopted. They base their knowledge and opinions on their experience. I couldn't really expect too much from them. As a teacher, I really should have realized that.
But that was high school students-our adoption news would be received by adult friends warmly and enthusiasticly, right? I didn't want to believe what L told me could possibly be true. I have posted adoption news on my Facebook status at each crossroad: our decision to adopt, entering the adoption program, being matched to our birthmom, Liam's birth, etc. For the most part, each piece of news has been received well according to the responses. However, I'm surprised by the number of responses in terms of the numbers of "friends" that I have. I'm also surprised that a small number of people we have shared our hearts with during our journey, haven't even made an effort to congratulate us. I know everyone is busy, but people who I really thought would "get it," have been amazingly quiet. Maybe some people are like my students-they don't know people who have been involved in the adoption process. Some are Christians, and I thought they would at least be able to relate on a spiritual level. There isn't a better picture of adoption than God's adoption of believers into His family...Maybe I'm extra sensitive...
In sharing feelings that I have had, Billy has helped put it all into perspective. It doesn't matter what others think, what they say (or don't say), or what they do in terms of OUR adoption. We followed God's tugging on our heart strings, and because of it, we have the most amazing, beautiful, perfect baby boy we could have ever imagined. We have been blessed!
There was an event that forshadowed our news would not be received as we had anticipated. I had rehearsed over and over in my head how I would explain to my high school students that Billy and I were expecting through adoption. Finally the day came, but reality did not measure up to my vision. When I told my first period class, half way through my exciting news, a usually shy female student said,"Do you mean that there's something wrong with you and your husband medically and you can't get pregnant?" I was thrown a bit off guard. I guess I didn't expect our infertility to be the focus. I told her that doctors weren't able to determine why we couldn't have children, but that I felt there was different plan for us, adoption. I tried my best to explain how excited we were, and I even used it as a teachable moment, explaining," When someone tells you about a pending adoption, it's like they're pregnant. You should tell them congratulations." After class several students, stopped by and wished me their best.
I proceeded to tell my second period class. When a student interrupted my monologue with, "You're going to tell us your pregnant, aren't you?" I responded,"No, but just as exciting news. My husband and I are expecting through adoption." He said flatly,"That's not the same." Again, I was blown away! I went on to explain that it was just as exciting news as a pregnancy, and what was the proper, mannerly way to respond to such news. By the time my third period class rolled around, I felt beat up lol. I thought,"How could one of the happiest things that have ever happened to us be received so poorily? It isn't fair!" But, something different happened during my monologue to my third period class: a group of female students got the biggest smiles on their faces, and all of a sudden, claps erupted, and a wave swept over the rest of my class-the entire class was clapping for our news! What did I do? Cry, of course lol. I was so touched by their response-they got it! But, why did they get it and the others didn't?
I shared with my partner teacher later in the day what it had been like sharing our adoption news. I told her how amazed I was by the flat responses of some of my students, but T put into perspective. She reminded me that many of our students probably don't have family members who were adopted, and the may not know of anyone who was adopted. They base their knowledge and opinions on their experience. I couldn't really expect too much from them. As a teacher, I really should have realized that.
But that was high school students-our adoption news would be received by adult friends warmly and enthusiasticly, right? I didn't want to believe what L told me could possibly be true. I have posted adoption news on my Facebook status at each crossroad: our decision to adopt, entering the adoption program, being matched to our birthmom, Liam's birth, etc. For the most part, each piece of news has been received well according to the responses. However, I'm surprised by the number of responses in terms of the numbers of "friends" that I have. I'm also surprised that a small number of people we have shared our hearts with during our journey, haven't even made an effort to congratulate us. I know everyone is busy, but people who I really thought would "get it," have been amazingly quiet. Maybe some people are like my students-they don't know people who have been involved in the adoption process. Some are Christians, and I thought they would at least be able to relate on a spiritual level. There isn't a better picture of adoption than God's adoption of believers into His family...Maybe I'm extra sensitive...
In sharing feelings that I have had, Billy has helped put it all into perspective. It doesn't matter what others think, what they say (or don't say), or what they do in terms of OUR adoption. We followed God's tugging on our heart strings, and because of it, we have the most amazing, beautiful, perfect baby boy we could have ever imagined. We have been blessed!
Tuesday, May 10, 2011
Bella Loves Liam
For starters, the Bella I'm refering to is our golden lab mix not the Bella from Twilight. (Not that I have ever watched or read the series...) A few days ago, two planks in our back fence loosened causing Maya, our Australian Shepherd lab mix, and Darla, our ridgeback lab mix, to escape our yard for hours. The last time I had remembered seeing either of them had been around 2 p.m., and when Billy arrived home at about 6 last night, they were MIA.
Billy combed our neighborhood and surrounding areas for about two hours, and had no luck. We reluctantly decided to put the search on hold until this morning. He brought Bella inside since she looked like she was sick with worry over Maya's and Darla's disappearance. (Actual reason he brought her in: he left the gate open in case Maya and Darla ventured home, so Bella wouldn't have been secured had he left her in the yard.) As Billy prepared Liam's bottle, he began to cry. I watched as Bella slowly sauntered from the laundry room to the living room.
Billy rose from the couch with Liam in his arms, and crouched down half way-just enough for Bella to see Liam. Amazingly Bella stood on her back legs and licked Liam's arm. (So, so adorable!) Then Billy sat back down on the couch, and Bella rested her head on the arm of the couch so she could watch Billy finish feeding Liam. It was all so precious, and the only reason I was okay with Bella being around Liam at all is because she is an absolute sweetheart, and Billy was being so careful. Also the past two weeks, Billy has been presenting the dogs with Liam's blankets and clothing. The purpose is to get the dogs used to him prior to their introduction. Apparentely it worked beautifully because-Bella most certainly loves Liam!
Billy combed our neighborhood and surrounding areas for about two hours, and had no luck. We reluctantly decided to put the search on hold until this morning. He brought Bella inside since she looked like she was sick with worry over Maya's and Darla's disappearance. (Actual reason he brought her in: he left the gate open in case Maya and Darla ventured home, so Bella wouldn't have been secured had he left her in the yard.) As Billy prepared Liam's bottle, he began to cry. I watched as Bella slowly sauntered from the laundry room to the living room.
Billy rose from the couch with Liam in his arms, and crouched down half way-just enough for Bella to see Liam. Amazingly Bella stood on her back legs and licked Liam's arm. (So, so adorable!) Then Billy sat back down on the couch, and Bella rested her head on the arm of the couch so she could watch Billy finish feeding Liam. It was all so precious, and the only reason I was okay with Bella being around Liam at all is because she is an absolute sweetheart, and Billy was being so careful. Also the past two weeks, Billy has been presenting the dogs with Liam's blankets and clothing. The purpose is to get the dogs used to him prior to their introduction. Apparentely it worked beautifully because-Bella most certainly loves Liam!
Sunday, May 8, 2011
Reflections of a New Mommy
How does one put into words what it is like to be a New Mommy on Mother's Day after 9 years of waiting? I seriously can't think of anything to compare it to-maybe it most closely resembles someone who has longed to get married for years upon years, and finally they meet the love of their life. Oh, the bliss that is felt on the wedding day! Still, it's not a perfect comparison. Becoming a mother has really "rocked my world" in the following ways (and in no particular order).
1. I have worn a path out in my carpet from walking to our livingroom to the nursery every 5-10 minutes. (Liam sleeps in his nursery during the day, and at the foot our our bed at night.)
2. I have acquired super power caliber hearing. There's almost no need for a baby monitor!
3. As hard as it may be for some to believe, I'm not as anal about my house being clean. NBC news should have aired a story last week on the house hit most recently by a tornado-the O'Neal household!
4. My (our) priorities have shifted completely. Being a mom has changed my world view, how I view myself, our marriage, and my relationship with God! (I'm praying a lot more!)
5. I've never been so happy to see someone poop in my life-we have had some challenges with formula.
6. I value family time more! I love sitting on the couch and "playing" with Liam and Billy in the evenings. (Check out the video on my wall.) I'm also realizing the importance of extended family contact.
7. Nothing is better than cuddling with Liam after feeding.
8. I've never been so excited about sharing news (Liam) in my life!
9. My laundry has more than doubled, and my sleep has diminished!
10. Most important: for some, biology matters, but not to me. When I look into Liam's eyes, I am convinced the love I experience has been there since God created me. There is not a doubt in my mind that Liam is the answer to our prayers-our son.
There are some many other things that I could list, and maybe this blog will be a work in progress. Happy Mother's Day to all the moms I know! Much love!
1. I have worn a path out in my carpet from walking to our livingroom to the nursery every 5-10 minutes. (Liam sleeps in his nursery during the day, and at the foot our our bed at night.)
2. I have acquired super power caliber hearing. There's almost no need for a baby monitor!
3. As hard as it may be for some to believe, I'm not as anal about my house being clean. NBC news should have aired a story last week on the house hit most recently by a tornado-the O'Neal household!
4. My (our) priorities have shifted completely. Being a mom has changed my world view, how I view myself, our marriage, and my relationship with God! (I'm praying a lot more!)
5. I've never been so happy to see someone poop in my life-we have had some challenges with formula.
6. I value family time more! I love sitting on the couch and "playing" with Liam and Billy in the evenings. (Check out the video on my wall.) I'm also realizing the importance of extended family contact.
7. Nothing is better than cuddling with Liam after feeding.
8. I've never been so excited about sharing news (Liam) in my life!
9. My laundry has more than doubled, and my sleep has diminished!
10. Most important: for some, biology matters, but not to me. When I look into Liam's eyes, I am convinced the love I experience has been there since God created me. There is not a doubt in my mind that Liam is the answer to our prayers-our son.
There are some many other things that I could list, and maybe this blog will be a work in progress. Happy Mother's Day to all the moms I know! Much love!
Wednesday, May 4, 2011
Continued Amazement
As you all know, we are in the process of (open) adopting Liam. We have arranged with his birthmom to have 3 visitations this year, and 2 visitations every subsequent year. In addition, we will send her pictures every several months. We strongly believe that this is healthy for adoptive children and for the birthparents as well as adoptive parents. For about two years leading up to our decision to adopt, we researched books, online sources, people we know who have adopted and adoptees, and spoken to people within the adoption field to help us make the decision to (open) adopt domestically (within the U.S.).
Yesterday was our first visitation with Liam's birthmom! We did this rather early since her mother was arriving out of state for a visit. As with all new things, I was a bit nervous. Because Liam has been struggling with tummy problems recently (doctor changed us to a lactose intolerant formula), we have not been sleeping well. Yesterday because of the exhaustion, I could feel my nerves getting the best of me. I prayed that this would be a great first visit, and that God would bless our time.
When we arrived, besides our birthmom, and her mother, there was also a couple who were good friends of their family. At first, I thought this strange, but soon it became very apparent to me that this was a God-thing. The couple and birthmom's mother are dynamic Christians (as well as our birthmom). We all ate pizza, and Liam was oogled over and held. Our birthmom is doing well, receiving counseling, attending church, and losing her baby weight. Our visit lasted for two hours, and I can't even tell you what an honor it was to meet her mother and her friends!As we were ready to part our ways, the friend of her mother hugged me and told me," That I was "the perfect mother for Liam," and that she would continue to pray for all of us. Her mother told me the same thing. I began crying! I figured that everyone would be watching us to see what kind of parents we were shaping up to be, and to receive such a compliment from the friend of the family, it touched me beyond words. The visit could not have gone any better!
I continue to worry a little since we still have more steps in our adoption process. However, I keep reminding myself that "He who began a good work will carry on until completion" Phi. 1:6.
Yesterday was our first visitation with Liam's birthmom! We did this rather early since her mother was arriving out of state for a visit. As with all new things, I was a bit nervous. Because Liam has been struggling with tummy problems recently (doctor changed us to a lactose intolerant formula), we have not been sleeping well. Yesterday because of the exhaustion, I could feel my nerves getting the best of me. I prayed that this would be a great first visit, and that God would bless our time.
When we arrived, besides our birthmom, and her mother, there was also a couple who were good friends of their family. At first, I thought this strange, but soon it became very apparent to me that this was a God-thing. The couple and birthmom's mother are dynamic Christians (as well as our birthmom). We all ate pizza, and Liam was oogled over and held. Our birthmom is doing well, receiving counseling, attending church, and losing her baby weight. Our visit lasted for two hours, and I can't even tell you what an honor it was to meet her mother and her friends!As we were ready to part our ways, the friend of her mother hugged me and told me," That I was "the perfect mother for Liam," and that she would continue to pray for all of us. Her mother told me the same thing. I began crying! I figured that everyone would be watching us to see what kind of parents we were shaping up to be, and to receive such a compliment from the friend of the family, it touched me beyond words. The visit could not have gone any better!
I continue to worry a little since we still have more steps in our adoption process. However, I keep reminding myself that "He who began a good work will carry on until completion" Phi. 1:6.
Saturday, April 30, 2011
Goodbye, Michael Scott. Hello, Liam
On Thursday, The Office aired their goodbye episode to Michael Scott (Steve Carell). As a die hard fan of Carell's character, I now view the show as a sinking ship-sadly. Producers have come up with a quick fix with Will Ferrell, but it appears that his managerial role will be short lived. No matter what big hitter they get, they won't be able to fill Michael Scott's shoes. The Office has been a tv. staple in our home ever since it's beginning in 2005. The dead pan humor struck a chord with me immediately, and I had loved Steve Carell in Anchorman. I have been frustrated about the departure of Michael Scott, but I had no idea how deepily it would impact me.
In 2005, we were three years into our infertility journey. At that point, doctors had been consulted, meds administered, various treatments tried. I had taken a break from teaching fulltime to have a more flexible schedule for doctor's appointments. In order to bring in additional income, I had started a home based tutoring business. My life was pretty quiet, and I was in desperate need of an escape. In the evenings, Billy and I found very few shows we liked to watch together, but we gave The Office a chance. I liked it immediately, and Billy needed some time to warm up to it. Soon enough, I was a fanatic. At first I would do nerdy stuff like quote lines from the show "that's what she said" or we would religiously dvr when we weren't able to watch. Then I became a hard core fan by owning seasons of the show and watching various episodes over and over again when I especially needed a good laugh. (My favorite is "The Injury.")
Thursday night's farewell to Steve Carell episode had the following premise: Michael Scott had made a list of all his coworkers, and he crossed their names off the list after he was able to say something special to them or give them some kind of momento. All of his coworkers were under the impression that the next day was his last day. However, secretly he planned that the current day would be his last. He had his special moments with all of his coworkers with the exception of Pam, who was supposedly running a work errand. Just before the taxi arrived to pick him up for the airport, Jim (Pam's husband) figured out that that was Michael Scott's last day. Michael said goodbye to everyone in the office, the rest of them completely unaware that he was not returning the next day. Michael Scott was transported to the airport, and the audience was convinced that he had missed his opportunity with Pam. However, just as Michael was about to board his plane, Pam showed up just at the nick of time (obviously she had been running because she was carrying her heels). They shared a very sweet moment embracing and saying their goodbyes. At this point in the episode, I completely lost it. I was literally sobbing as I watched this. Billy did his usual thing when I cry over sappy stuff-point and laugh. He asked me, "Really, Heather? Why?"
I thought a minute, and realized how profound the exit of Michael Scott was. I had relied on his antics and that of Dwight's for the majority of our infertility journey. He had put a smile on my face and helped me laugh during my darkest of times. However, I no longer need his comedic relief. The dark days are gone. My joy has been restored. On to the next phase of our lives. God has blessed us with Liam. Goodbye, Michael Scott. Hello, Liam.
In 2005, we were three years into our infertility journey. At that point, doctors had been consulted, meds administered, various treatments tried. I had taken a break from teaching fulltime to have a more flexible schedule for doctor's appointments. In order to bring in additional income, I had started a home based tutoring business. My life was pretty quiet, and I was in desperate need of an escape. In the evenings, Billy and I found very few shows we liked to watch together, but we gave The Office a chance. I liked it immediately, and Billy needed some time to warm up to it. Soon enough, I was a fanatic. At first I would do nerdy stuff like quote lines from the show "that's what she said" or we would religiously dvr when we weren't able to watch. Then I became a hard core fan by owning seasons of the show and watching various episodes over and over again when I especially needed a good laugh. (My favorite is "The Injury.")
Thursday night's farewell to Steve Carell episode had the following premise: Michael Scott had made a list of all his coworkers, and he crossed their names off the list after he was able to say something special to them or give them some kind of momento. All of his coworkers were under the impression that the next day was his last day. However, secretly he planned that the current day would be his last. He had his special moments with all of his coworkers with the exception of Pam, who was supposedly running a work errand. Just before the taxi arrived to pick him up for the airport, Jim (Pam's husband) figured out that that was Michael Scott's last day. Michael said goodbye to everyone in the office, the rest of them completely unaware that he was not returning the next day. Michael Scott was transported to the airport, and the audience was convinced that he had missed his opportunity with Pam. However, just as Michael was about to board his plane, Pam showed up just at the nick of time (obviously she had been running because she was carrying her heels). They shared a very sweet moment embracing and saying their goodbyes. At this point in the episode, I completely lost it. I was literally sobbing as I watched this. Billy did his usual thing when I cry over sappy stuff-point and laugh. He asked me, "Really, Heather? Why?"
I thought a minute, and realized how profound the exit of Michael Scott was. I had relied on his antics and that of Dwight's for the majority of our infertility journey. He had put a smile on my face and helped me laugh during my darkest of times. However, I no longer need his comedic relief. The dark days are gone. My joy has been restored. On to the next phase of our lives. God has blessed us with Liam. Goodbye, Michael Scott. Hello, Liam.
Friday, April 22, 2011
Unimagineable
"Now all glory to God who is able through His mighty power at work within us, to accomplish infinitely more than we might ask or think" Ephesians 3:20 (NIV)
That scripture reference was the most appropriate way I could start this blog. I love Romans 8:28, but I'm feeling Ephesians 3:20 really captures the tone of our journey's culmination. This week God has shown up more than I ever remember seeing Him in my life, and the good that has come from our journey was unimagineable, more than what we could have thought to ask for! More than anything, I hope my friends recognize this as a blessing from God. There were way too many "coincidences" through the past month leading up to Liam's delivery-it was definitely a "God thing". God's goodness has been evident through this entire journey, and I'll try to highlight events since Monday...
As you know, Liam was born via emergency C-section late Monday night. The doctor noticed that his heart rate was flat, and when he performed the C-section, he discovered the cord was wrapped around his neck 1.5 times. Billy and I knew something wasn't right when he told us the plans for delivery had changed, and he said a prayer and did lots of pacing while we waited. The bummer was that I wasn't able to be in the delivery room. Our birthmom had chosen to have her support person with her instead, which was understandable. Immediately afterwards, we were able to not only see Liam, but we had him in our room all night. (We and the birthmom had our own, separate rooms).
The next day, family visited with us. My parents, grandma, two aunts, and Billy's sister came by to meet Liam. Birthmom shared him with us that day, and she graciously told Billy that she was willing to meet any of our family members. (Earlier in the day I had "met" her mother and sister over the phone-an amazing thing!) My mom and one of my aunts met our birthmom, and it was a very special opportunity for them to thank her for helping us achieve our dreams and to recognize her brave choice to provide Liam an adoptive life.
Prior to leaving the hospital, the birthmom asked the hospital chaplin whether she would pray a blessing over Liam. (It has been fantastic to have a birthmom who shares our same beliefs!) Just before prayer, the chaplin told us that she and her husband have desired to have a family for years, and that since she is nearly forty, she hopes someday they will be blessed through adoption just as we have been. Her prayer was absolutely beautiful-just as I'd imagine Liam's church dedication might be. As you can imagine, our birthmom, Bill, and I were all in tears by the end of the prayer. In order to help with the separation, it is advised that birthmoms and adoptive parents leave the hospital at the same time. That is exactly what we did.
When we arrived home that night, Billy told me that he had spoken to one of Liam's nurses, and she asked him to what extent we had gone to have a family. They swapped infertility stories, and the nurse said that she and her husband will most likely adopt, and she even asked about our adoption facilitator. As I think about the chaplin and the nurse, I can't help but wonder what kind of impact our experience will have on them. I wish I could know!
Now I can't go on anymore without bragging about my son :). Liam is not only the cutest baby in the entire world since the beginning of time, but he also has Herculian strength. At 17 hrs. "old", while being burped, he has been able to lift his head off Billy's shoulder! We have pics to prove it! He continues to do this, and turn his head so he can see us while we are tending to him. We took him to the pediatrician today for his two day appointment, and our doctor said that he looks great! He is eating very well, and is only waking up one time in the middle of the night. He consistently sleeps 4 hrs. straight-I"m afraid that I may jinx myself by writing this lol.
As for the adoption process, there are a number of things that must be accomplished. First, we have to submit our request to adopt Liam within 10 days to the court. Please pray that this, and other hurdles over the next month will be smooth sailing. It takes 8 months for the adoption to be final. I will update as our journey, no, adventure with Liam (the most beautiful, special baby in the world :) ) continues.
That scripture reference was the most appropriate way I could start this blog. I love Romans 8:28, but I'm feeling Ephesians 3:20 really captures the tone of our journey's culmination. This week God has shown up more than I ever remember seeing Him in my life, and the good that has come from our journey was unimagineable, more than what we could have thought to ask for! More than anything, I hope my friends recognize this as a blessing from God. There were way too many "coincidences" through the past month leading up to Liam's delivery-it was definitely a "God thing". God's goodness has been evident through this entire journey, and I'll try to highlight events since Monday...
As you know, Liam was born via emergency C-section late Monday night. The doctor noticed that his heart rate was flat, and when he performed the C-section, he discovered the cord was wrapped around his neck 1.5 times. Billy and I knew something wasn't right when he told us the plans for delivery had changed, and he said a prayer and did lots of pacing while we waited. The bummer was that I wasn't able to be in the delivery room. Our birthmom had chosen to have her support person with her instead, which was understandable. Immediately afterwards, we were able to not only see Liam, but we had him in our room all night. (We and the birthmom had our own, separate rooms).
The next day, family visited with us. My parents, grandma, two aunts, and Billy's sister came by to meet Liam. Birthmom shared him with us that day, and she graciously told Billy that she was willing to meet any of our family members. (Earlier in the day I had "met" her mother and sister over the phone-an amazing thing!) My mom and one of my aunts met our birthmom, and it was a very special opportunity for them to thank her for helping us achieve our dreams and to recognize her brave choice to provide Liam an adoptive life.
Prior to leaving the hospital, the birthmom asked the hospital chaplin whether she would pray a blessing over Liam. (It has been fantastic to have a birthmom who shares our same beliefs!) Just before prayer, the chaplin told us that she and her husband have desired to have a family for years, and that since she is nearly forty, she hopes someday they will be blessed through adoption just as we have been. Her prayer was absolutely beautiful-just as I'd imagine Liam's church dedication might be. As you can imagine, our birthmom, Bill, and I were all in tears by the end of the prayer. In order to help with the separation, it is advised that birthmoms and adoptive parents leave the hospital at the same time. That is exactly what we did.
When we arrived home that night, Billy told me that he had spoken to one of Liam's nurses, and she asked him to what extent we had gone to have a family. They swapped infertility stories, and the nurse said that she and her husband will most likely adopt, and she even asked about our adoption facilitator. As I think about the chaplin and the nurse, I can't help but wonder what kind of impact our experience will have on them. I wish I could know!
Now I can't go on anymore without bragging about my son :). Liam is not only the cutest baby in the entire world since the beginning of time, but he also has Herculian strength. At 17 hrs. "old", while being burped, he has been able to lift his head off Billy's shoulder! We have pics to prove it! He continues to do this, and turn his head so he can see us while we are tending to him. We took him to the pediatrician today for his two day appointment, and our doctor said that he looks great! He is eating very well, and is only waking up one time in the middle of the night. He consistently sleeps 4 hrs. straight-I"m afraid that I may jinx myself by writing this lol.
As for the adoption process, there are a number of things that must be accomplished. First, we have to submit our request to adopt Liam within 10 days to the court. Please pray that this, and other hurdles over the next month will be smooth sailing. It takes 8 months for the adoption to be final. I will update as our journey, no, adventure with Liam (the most beautiful, special baby in the world :) ) continues.
Thursday, April 14, 2011
The End (or the Beginning) in Sight!
I thought I would give everyone an update of the last 24 hrs. Yesterday at the end of 7th period, Billy called me. At that moment, I just knew Liam was on his way. For the past week, Billy had been telling me that he thought Liam would be born on Wednesday, the 13th. I don't put a lot of stock in premonitions, but when he called me, I couldn't believe it. Sure enough our birth mom was having contractions. Since I teach in Willows, I was advised to head home. I waited a little while for Billy to arrive, and after he came home, we received a call from our adoption facilitator that the contractions were irregular. Therefore our birthmom wasn't heading to the hospital. So we waited nearly two hours, and sure enough we received another call from our adoption facilitator that she had just found out that that our birthmom was headed to the hospital. In record timing, we had the car packed, and ventured out on the 30 minute drive to Feather River Hospital. Once there, we joined our birthmom in her beautiful, spacious room (love their birthing center!), and watched the monitor, hearing Liam's heartbeat for the very first time! We chit chatted on a more casual level with our birthmom, which was a great bonding time. Sure enough, the charge nurse came in to inform us that her contractions had stopped! She was released! Since our birthmom has dilated slightly, we think Liam will arrive in the next day or so. Because of this, I had my sub teacher start covering my leave today. I just didn't want to be in Willows again, and have to worry about getting to Paradise in time! Today I've been able to do some final nesting activities-work in the nursery, do laundry, and have my acrylic nails removed lol! We are ready for Liam; whenever God has appointed his arrival to be!
Saturday, March 26, 2011
Read for Riddle's Answer
Do you know when something wonderful begins to develop, and your first thought is to tell everyone you know? But, then you have second thoughts because you don't want to jinx it. Not that I'm superstitious at all -"just a little stitious" (Michael Scott, The Office). The past week and a half have been exactly that way for Billy and me.
On March 16th, after work I stopped by to wish my grandma "happy birthday." I accidentally left my cell in the car-something I never do. I hadn't been at her house more than 15 minutes when her phone rang. It was Billy trying to track me down-apparantly he had just received a call from our adoption facilitator that a birthmom had picked us! He told me to grab my cell and to make sure to pick it up when it rang. Shortly after that I was on the phone for about a half hour learning about our potential birthmom. I was amazed to learn that the baby was due the first part of April!
I knew I needed to square things away for work, so I began talking to my administrators about our match and my possible need to go on leave. One of the many incredible aspects of this beautifully developing situation is that I took a student teacher on this semester. In fact, she will be fully trained and will have her credential at the end of next week! It really couldn't have been more perfect timing!
Because I want to maintain confidentiality, I am not going to go into lots of detail about the situation, but I will share this: there are a number of interesting similarities between Billy, me, and our birthmom, who we had the pleasure of meeting this week! In fact, the similarities are so uncanny, that our adoption facilitator commented on them. She also stated that our meeting went so well, and that it appears that we are watching our destiny unfold. (She explained that she didn't want to sway our decision by saying this, but she said that the feeling was so strong during the meeting.) The next day we all decided to move forward with the adoption!
There are lots of details to work out as we get ready for little Liam-yes, we are expecting a boy! Please continue to pray that everything will continue to come together smoothly. A side note: I have prayed all along that God's hand would be VERY apparant, so much so that non-believers would recognize it. I've been told by several that there are too many "coincidences" that have come together for this to happen. Also, one person has told me that they have had goose bumps as they hear each development. Then there is my dear friend who had a dream about two weeks ago (which she had emailed me about before hand) that I would be in the delivery room with the birthmom. At the end of our match meeting, our birthmom asked me whether I could be in the delivery room when the baby comes! This is was one of a few times that I became emotional to say the least!
I can't thank you all enough for your love, support, encouragement, and prayers through the years. Our journey isn't ending. I know it's just beginning!
On March 16th, after work I stopped by to wish my grandma "happy birthday." I accidentally left my cell in the car-something I never do. I hadn't been at her house more than 15 minutes when her phone rang. It was Billy trying to track me down-apparantly he had just received a call from our adoption facilitator that a birthmom had picked us! He told me to grab my cell and to make sure to pick it up when it rang. Shortly after that I was on the phone for about a half hour learning about our potential birthmom. I was amazed to learn that the baby was due the first part of April!
I knew I needed to square things away for work, so I began talking to my administrators about our match and my possible need to go on leave. One of the many incredible aspects of this beautifully developing situation is that I took a student teacher on this semester. In fact, she will be fully trained and will have her credential at the end of next week! It really couldn't have been more perfect timing!
Because I want to maintain confidentiality, I am not going to go into lots of detail about the situation, but I will share this: there are a number of interesting similarities between Billy, me, and our birthmom, who we had the pleasure of meeting this week! In fact, the similarities are so uncanny, that our adoption facilitator commented on them. She also stated that our meeting went so well, and that it appears that we are watching our destiny unfold. (She explained that she didn't want to sway our decision by saying this, but she said that the feeling was so strong during the meeting.) The next day we all decided to move forward with the adoption!
There are lots of details to work out as we get ready for little Liam-yes, we are expecting a boy! Please continue to pray that everything will continue to come together smoothly. A side note: I have prayed all along that God's hand would be VERY apparant, so much so that non-believers would recognize it. I've been told by several that there are too many "coincidences" that have come together for this to happen. Also, one person has told me that they have had goose bumps as they hear each development. Then there is my dear friend who had a dream about two weeks ago (which she had emailed me about before hand) that I would be in the delivery room with the birthmom. At the end of our match meeting, our birthmom asked me whether I could be in the delivery room when the baby comes! This is was one of a few times that I became emotional to say the least!
I can't thank you all enough for your love, support, encouragement, and prayers through the years. Our journey isn't ending. I know it's just beginning!
Tuesday, March 15, 2011
Most Frequently Asked ?s
I woke up this a.m. itching to do some writing. However, I needed to head to Willows. Right before I dashed out the door, I scribbled on a pad of paper a quick brainstorm. Many of you have questioned Billy and I about our decision to take on a second job, and I want to address as many of these questions in one fell swoop.
1. Why have you and Billy decided to take on second jobs by becoming ACN representatives?
*We decided to become ACN representatives for a few different reasons: first, Billy is a mortgage banker, and we all know how the market has been lately. Second, ultimately Heather would love the ability to stay home with the baby at some point-though this probably won't happen for a couple of years. Third, we love the concept of the ACN home based business, and it made lots of sense to us!
2. Why ACN?
*Though we have been approached by other networking business reps, ACN is the only home based business that made sense in this economy since it is not product based. How awesome to be able to provide name telecommunication essential services (landline, cell phone, internet, satellite tv, tech support, and home security), possibly at a lower cost. It is the world's largest direct seller of telecommunications and home services. ACN is an international services provider conducting business within 23 countries, and it has been in existence since 1993.
3. Is ACN a pyramid?
*Absolutely not! Billy and I thoroughly researched this company before joining. I would hope that our friends and family realize that we never would have gotten into anything even remotely shady. We are professionals, and we make great strides to adhere to the highest standards. ACN's competitive advantage is relationship marketing is used to build the business. Network marketing is one of the oldest, effective business plans.
4. Do you have to be a tech person to join ACN?
*I laugh because anyone who knows me knows that I am the furthest thing from being tech savvy. Instead, you need a work ethic and a desire to help people. There are so many people hurting in this economy. To one person, ACN may be a perfect business opportunity. To another person, ACN may be a way for someone to save money on essential services.
5. Do you have to invest lots of time in ACN?
*Not at all! The beauty of ACN is you can fit it into the cracks of your life. If you decide to become an ACN rep, you decide how much time, effort, and energy you will invest. That's what I love about this company-the possibilities are endless!
6. Is ACN a credible company?
*Definitely! In 2006, Donald Trump offered to purchase ACN. He was highly impressed by the company's growth and technological advancements. However, ACN owners opted not to sell. Instead, Donald Trump has become a spokesperson for the company. ACN's videophone was featured on an episode of the Celebrity Apprentice in 2009. Trump is often a key speaker at ACN conferences. In fact, Donald Trump will be announcing at the ACN San Jose national conference whether he plans to run for President! Additionally, three ex-state attorney generals are considered staff of ACN, providing regular legal counsel to ensure the company adheres to the highest legal and ethical standards. A local sidenote: ever eat a local Casa Ramos? Michelle Hill is part owner of 14 of these restaraunts, and she is also a part of the ACN family. Hill and other business owners recognize the huge potential of ACN, and they find/make time for it and their other multiple business ventures.
7. What is the purpose of your Celebrity Apprentice Party on March 27?
*We have a few reasons for hosting this party. First of all, our business, ACN is making an encore appearance for two whole hours! For the first time in network history a home-based business opportunity will be presented on primetime television!!!! ( You will see how excited I am about this as I sprinkle more exclamation points into my writing. ) Companies pay big bucks to have their 2 minute long commercials air during the Celebrity Apprentice. Yet my company will be featured for two hours, endorsed by Donald J. Trump! This is definitely a reason to celebrate!!! We are throwing a party, and we are hoping that everyone can attend. In fact, we have arranged for us to watch the episode online via our big screen tv., so that we can view it at 6 p.m. opposed to 9 p.m. We have done this to accommodate everyone who works early and/or have children. Plus, we are serving dinner! In case anyone is concerned that this is going to be a high pressure, twist your arm, type of meeting- it won't be! The business opportunity and the services will be presented but in an informative, guilt-free way. Come to celebrate our new business, to learn more about it, and then decide what you think. You definitely owe it to yourself and to your loved ones! If you are able to attend, send Heather or Billy a RSVP via messaging on FB. If you are unable to attend, watch the Celebrity Apprentice on NBC at 9 p.m.
1. Why have you and Billy decided to take on second jobs by becoming ACN representatives?
*We decided to become ACN representatives for a few different reasons: first, Billy is a mortgage banker, and we all know how the market has been lately. Second, ultimately Heather would love the ability to stay home with the baby at some point-though this probably won't happen for a couple of years. Third, we love the concept of the ACN home based business, and it made lots of sense to us!
2. Why ACN?
*Though we have been approached by other networking business reps, ACN is the only home based business that made sense in this economy since it is not product based. How awesome to be able to provide name telecommunication essential services (landline, cell phone, internet, satellite tv, tech support, and home security), possibly at a lower cost. It is the world's largest direct seller of telecommunications and home services. ACN is an international services provider conducting business within 23 countries, and it has been in existence since 1993.
3. Is ACN a pyramid?
*Absolutely not! Billy and I thoroughly researched this company before joining. I would hope that our friends and family realize that we never would have gotten into anything even remotely shady. We are professionals, and we make great strides to adhere to the highest standards. ACN's competitive advantage is relationship marketing is used to build the business. Network marketing is one of the oldest, effective business plans.
4. Do you have to be a tech person to join ACN?
*I laugh because anyone who knows me knows that I am the furthest thing from being tech savvy. Instead, you need a work ethic and a desire to help people. There are so many people hurting in this economy. To one person, ACN may be a perfect business opportunity. To another person, ACN may be a way for someone to save money on essential services.
5. Do you have to invest lots of time in ACN?
*Not at all! The beauty of ACN is you can fit it into the cracks of your life. If you decide to become an ACN rep, you decide how much time, effort, and energy you will invest. That's what I love about this company-the possibilities are endless!
6. Is ACN a credible company?
*Definitely! In 2006, Donald Trump offered to purchase ACN. He was highly impressed by the company's growth and technological advancements. However, ACN owners opted not to sell. Instead, Donald Trump has become a spokesperson for the company. ACN's videophone was featured on an episode of the Celebrity Apprentice in 2009. Trump is often a key speaker at ACN conferences. In fact, Donald Trump will be announcing at the ACN San Jose national conference whether he plans to run for President! Additionally, three ex-state attorney generals are considered staff of ACN, providing regular legal counsel to ensure the company adheres to the highest legal and ethical standards. A local sidenote: ever eat a local Casa Ramos? Michelle Hill is part owner of 14 of these restaraunts, and she is also a part of the ACN family. Hill and other business owners recognize the huge potential of ACN, and they find/make time for it and their other multiple business ventures.
7. What is the purpose of your Celebrity Apprentice Party on March 27?
*We have a few reasons for hosting this party. First of all, our business, ACN is making an encore appearance for two whole hours! For the first time in network history a home-based business opportunity will be presented on primetime television!!!! ( You will see how excited I am about this as I sprinkle more exclamation points into my writing. ) Companies pay big bucks to have their 2 minute long commercials air during the Celebrity Apprentice. Yet my company will be featured for two hours, endorsed by Donald J. Trump! This is definitely a reason to celebrate!!! We are throwing a party, and we are hoping that everyone can attend. In fact, we have arranged for us to watch the episode online via our big screen tv., so that we can view it at 6 p.m. opposed to 9 p.m. We have done this to accommodate everyone who works early and/or have children. Plus, we are serving dinner! In case anyone is concerned that this is going to be a high pressure, twist your arm, type of meeting- it won't be! The business opportunity and the services will be presented but in an informative, guilt-free way. Come to celebrate our new business, to learn more about it, and then decide what you think. You definitely owe it to yourself and to your loved ones! If you are able to attend, send Heather or Billy a RSVP via messaging on FB. If you are unable to attend, watch the Celebrity Apprentice on NBC at 9 p.m.
Friday, February 25, 2011
Networking
Boys and girls, the word of the day is "networking." When you hear the word "networking" I need you to scream really loud. It looks like we will be doing the same type of footwork to jump start the adoption as with our new business venture (ACN)-"networking!" AAAAAAAUUUUUGHHHHHH! (I know you're screaming really loud right now to humor me even though we are miles apart-j/k!) Can you not tell that I'm a product of the 80's and 90's? A little nod to Pee Wee's Playhouse. I know more of you watched it than will admit to it...Anyways, yesterday Billy and I met with the director of our adoption program in order to get an update on the current status of our wait.
We have been within the program for five months, and we wanted to know the following things: Have new birthmothers joined the program? How many times has our profile been shown to birthmothers? Has anything within our profile been a turn off to the birthmothers? The director informed us that since we have joined the program, only a few birthmothers have joined. In fact, there seems to be a bit of a shortage of birthmothers. Nobody knows why that is the case. I wondered if less babies were born during the winter months or maybe more birthmothers keep their babies during the holidays. It's anybody's best guess. Since it is so quiet, the director said that the program is doing lots of outreach to connect with potential birthmothers in surrounding areas. She also informed us that our profile has been shown twice. It is hard for us to know this, and realize we were not chosen. However, she said birthmothers often select couples based off little things that struck them about a prospective adoptive couple. For example, maybe the husband and wife are dancers and the birthmother was a dancer. Maybe the birthmother grew up riding quads and the adoptive couple enjoys the hobby. You never know what will strike a chord. Lastly, the director confirmed that there has been nothing within our profile that has been a turn off to birthmothers-to which we were relieved!
During our meeting, Billy and I realized why this part of our journey is particularly hard. We have felt that there isn't much we can do aside from waiting for that phone call (that we've been matched). However, the director said we could also be networking on our own: talking to our family and friends-having them spread the word for us. Networking! Our adoption program will continue to hang fliers at surrounding colleges, contact other clinics, and notify other organizations of us. With all this networking, something is bound to happen!
Family and friends, as you know, our adoption is NOT a secret. Please spread the word that we are attempting to locate a birthmother. If you hear about a friend of a friend of a friend's grand daughter who is pregnant and considering adoption (for example), let me know. We understand that these scenarios often do not work out; the majority of the time the birthmother will change her mind. However, you never know! You may end up being the one God uses to help coordinate our adoption! It gives me shivers just to think about it! As always, thank you for your continued prayers and well wishes as we journey on to our destination-life with baby!
We have been within the program for five months, and we wanted to know the following things: Have new birthmothers joined the program? How many times has our profile been shown to birthmothers? Has anything within our profile been a turn off to the birthmothers? The director informed us that since we have joined the program, only a few birthmothers have joined. In fact, there seems to be a bit of a shortage of birthmothers. Nobody knows why that is the case. I wondered if less babies were born during the winter months or maybe more birthmothers keep their babies during the holidays. It's anybody's best guess. Since it is so quiet, the director said that the program is doing lots of outreach to connect with potential birthmothers in surrounding areas. She also informed us that our profile has been shown twice. It is hard for us to know this, and realize we were not chosen. However, she said birthmothers often select couples based off little things that struck them about a prospective adoptive couple. For example, maybe the husband and wife are dancers and the birthmother was a dancer. Maybe the birthmother grew up riding quads and the adoptive couple enjoys the hobby. You never know what will strike a chord. Lastly, the director confirmed that there has been nothing within our profile that has been a turn off to birthmothers-to which we were relieved!
During our meeting, Billy and I realized why this part of our journey is particularly hard. We have felt that there isn't much we can do aside from waiting for that phone call (that we've been matched). However, the director said we could also be networking on our own: talking to our family and friends-having them spread the word for us. Networking! Our adoption program will continue to hang fliers at surrounding colleges, contact other clinics, and notify other organizations of us. With all this networking, something is bound to happen!
Family and friends, as you know, our adoption is NOT a secret. Please spread the word that we are attempting to locate a birthmother. If you hear about a friend of a friend of a friend's grand daughter who is pregnant and considering adoption (for example), let me know. We understand that these scenarios often do not work out; the majority of the time the birthmother will change her mind. However, you never know! You may end up being the one God uses to help coordinate our adoption! It gives me shivers just to think about it! As always, thank you for your continued prayers and well wishes as we journey on to our destination-life with baby!
Saturday, February 19, 2011
He Works in Mysterious Ways
Ever since I was little, I remember hearing the phrase "the Lord works in mysterious ways." Various times in my life I've seen that. The fact that Billy's life path and my life path even crossed is a miracle. The way that Billy ended up doing mortgage banking...The way God has provided me with teaching positions when the job outlook was bleak...I believe our most recent miracle happened this week. No, we did not get the call we've been craving :(, but I believe this latest "God thing" is preparation for it.
About two weeks ago, I was thinking about many of the working moms that I know who do such an excellent job balancing their outside-of-home careers, child rearing, and other home-making responsibilities. I have been so blessed to be surrounded by women that I love and respect for they are truly superwomen. However, I know that for many working moms, it is a struggle to leave their children with a care provider. I understand that many women especially in today's economy have to work outside of the home in order to survive financially. My mother was a stay at home mom, but I have never thought much about it because of my desire to have a career. Plus, times are different. As I pondered all this, I began to think about the great lengths (over 8+yrs!) we have gone to extend our family, and for what-to have someone else raise the baby?! I began to experience a very deep sadness (and guilt) already about my plan to work after our baby arrives.
I shared this with Billy, and I asked him if there was a possiblity that I could stay home with the baby and eventually return to work a few years later. He assured me that he would look into our financial situation a little further, and he would let me know. Two days later, I asked him what he thought about the whole thing. He informed me that he thought he had found a solution. A childhood friend approached him that day about a potential business venture that Billy (with my help) can easily take on in addition to his current job. It will take lots of extra work, but there is lots of potential to make residual income. At first, I was VERY skeptical, but then I looked into the company's reputation, and I have been thoroughly impressed by it. Donald Trump himself has so much admiration for the company, known as ACN, that he has offered to purchase it, but the owners refused to sell. ACN is a telecommunication company in which representatives sell services such us phone, cable, online, and eventually energy! In fact, Billy has "jumped in with both feet"; he flew out to North Carolina this weekend to attend a huge conference and to tour their 16 acre facilities!
I have to admit that I was not supportive of him taking on a second job, but that was before I became aware of the company's reputation. However, I find the timing of it all VERY interesting, and I can't help but wonder if this isn't another way God is going to provide for us as we get ready for baby! It may be years before I'm able to stay home with our children-yes, we will probably adopt a second baby eventually. I'm trusting that He is working out all the details as I write this.
About two weeks ago, I was thinking about many of the working moms that I know who do such an excellent job balancing their outside-of-home careers, child rearing, and other home-making responsibilities. I have been so blessed to be surrounded by women that I love and respect for they are truly superwomen. However, I know that for many working moms, it is a struggle to leave their children with a care provider. I understand that many women especially in today's economy have to work outside of the home in order to survive financially. My mother was a stay at home mom, but I have never thought much about it because of my desire to have a career. Plus, times are different. As I pondered all this, I began to think about the great lengths (over 8+yrs!) we have gone to extend our family, and for what-to have someone else raise the baby?! I began to experience a very deep sadness (and guilt) already about my plan to work after our baby arrives.
I shared this with Billy, and I asked him if there was a possiblity that I could stay home with the baby and eventually return to work a few years later. He assured me that he would look into our financial situation a little further, and he would let me know. Two days later, I asked him what he thought about the whole thing. He informed me that he thought he had found a solution. A childhood friend approached him that day about a potential business venture that Billy (with my help) can easily take on in addition to his current job. It will take lots of extra work, but there is lots of potential to make residual income. At first, I was VERY skeptical, but then I looked into the company's reputation, and I have been thoroughly impressed by it. Donald Trump himself has so much admiration for the company, known as ACN, that he has offered to purchase it, but the owners refused to sell. ACN is a telecommunication company in which representatives sell services such us phone, cable, online, and eventually energy! In fact, Billy has "jumped in with both feet"; he flew out to North Carolina this weekend to attend a huge conference and to tour their 16 acre facilities!
I have to admit that I was not supportive of him taking on a second job, but that was before I became aware of the company's reputation. However, I find the timing of it all VERY interesting, and I can't help but wonder if this isn't another way God is going to provide for us as we get ready for baby! It may be years before I'm able to stay home with our children-yes, we will probably adopt a second baby eventually. I'm trusting that He is working out all the details as I write this.
Saturday, January 29, 2011
An Update of Sorts
So I wish I was writing that we had received "the call," but no such news :(. However, there has been a recent development within our adoption program. (And if it hadn't been for our constant curiousity and OCD-ness, we would have missed it-at least for a little while...) For the past week, I have been repeatedly checking the website of our adoption program. On the website are pictures and "adoption updates" of the 12 couples in the program. Nothing had changed, until yesterday!
When I called Billy on my way in from Willows, he informed me that he had visited the website, and he noticed that there was a new couple's pic. However, there were still 12 couples in the program. In other words, it appears as if a baby has been placed in a couples' home since the program only keeps 12 couples in it at a time. Plus, there's another section of the website that lists couples who have had babies placed, and the most recent placement month shown was November for a certain couple. Prior to yesterday, the most recent placement month had been October. So if my deductive skills serve me correctly, this is the couple that has most recently adopted. And, that is why there is a new couple in the program.
The way Billy and I responded to this was quite different. My initial reaction was "thank, goodness! They ARE recruiting birthmoms. Things ARE happening behind the scenes." Billy's reaction was "I wonder why we weren't the ones picked..." Billy is always a very optimistic, glass is half full type of guy, so this took me a little off guard; however, I think I know why he went there. He is so dang competitive! The couple was much older than us, so he wondered why a birthmom would pick an older couple. He continued his thinking out loud "maybe it was this or that." I told him that I am feeling at peace about this. There may have been a tinge of disappointment, but I told him that I really feel that God has the perfect birthmom and future child already picked out for us. Plus, I went on to say, who knows, maybe that baby was going to grow up to be a brat lol. You never know!
Despite our different reactions over Friday's news, I do believe this: more than any other time in our journey, I feel that we are united by our love, by our feelings (about the journey, the process, waiting, etc.), and by our trust. (Proverbs 3:5-6) I can't wait to share when it does! When IT does happen, you will be hard pressed to find someone in Chico (or someone who has internet access) that will not be informed of our news!
When I called Billy on my way in from Willows, he informed me that he had visited the website, and he noticed that there was a new couple's pic. However, there were still 12 couples in the program. In other words, it appears as if a baby has been placed in a couples' home since the program only keeps 12 couples in it at a time. Plus, there's another section of the website that lists couples who have had babies placed, and the most recent placement month shown was November for a certain couple. Prior to yesterday, the most recent placement month had been October. So if my deductive skills serve me correctly, this is the couple that has most recently adopted. And, that is why there is a new couple in the program.
The way Billy and I responded to this was quite different. My initial reaction was "thank, goodness! They ARE recruiting birthmoms. Things ARE happening behind the scenes." Billy's reaction was "I wonder why we weren't the ones picked..." Billy is always a very optimistic, glass is half full type of guy, so this took me a little off guard; however, I think I know why he went there. He is so dang competitive! The couple was much older than us, so he wondered why a birthmom would pick an older couple. He continued his thinking out loud "maybe it was this or that." I told him that I am feeling at peace about this. There may have been a tinge of disappointment, but I told him that I really feel that God has the perfect birthmom and future child already picked out for us. Plus, I went on to say, who knows, maybe that baby was going to grow up to be a brat lol. You never know!
Despite our different reactions over Friday's news, I do believe this: more than any other time in our journey, I feel that we are united by our love, by our feelings (about the journey, the process, waiting, etc.), and by our trust. (Proverbs 3:5-6) I can't wait to share when it does! When IT does happen, you will be hard pressed to find someone in Chico (or someone who has internet access) that will not be informed of our news!
Saturday, January 22, 2011
A song that struck me yesterday...
You know how you won't hear a song for months or years, then you hear it, and it seems totally appropriate for what you're going through? I love when that happens! I really feel that's one way God speaks to us, and lets us know He is there right along with us. It happened to me last night when we were driving to Chili's for dinner. I was in the Murano listening to my Jesus Freak cd which has the song "Mind's Eye" on it. I'm posting the awesome lyrics simply because they do an excellent job explaining why we should have faith in God in the midst of any trial we are going through. Hope this touches others like it has touched me!
Mind's Eye (old school-DC Talk)
(In my mind, I can see Your face
As your love pours down in a shower of grace
Some people tell me You're just a dream
My faith is the evidence of things unseen)
In my mind's eye, in my mind's eye
In my mind's eye, in my mind
You know what I'm going through
I know this is true
'Cause you've stood in my shoes
Desires inside of me
But it's hard to believe in what you cannot see
Can you catch the wind?
See a breeze?
Its presence is revealed by
The leaves on a tree
An image of my faith in the unseen
(chorus)
In my mind's eye
I see Your face
You smile as you show me grace
In my mind's eye
You take my hand
We walk through foreign lands
The foreign lands of life
In my mind's eye, in my mind's eye
In my mind's eye, in my mind
In my mind I'm where I belong
As I rest in your arms
And like a child I hold on to you
In my moment of truth, yes I do
We can ride the storm
Endure the pain
You comfort me in the hurricane
And I'll never be alone again
(repeat chorus 2x)
In my mind's eye, in my mind's eye
In my mind's eye, in my mind
In my mind I can see Your face
Love pours down in a shower of grace
Life is a gift that You choose to give
I believe we eternally live
Faith is the evidence of things unseen
People tell me that You're just a dream
But they don't know You the way that I do
You're the one I live to pursue
Can you catch the wind?
(Can you see God, have you ever seen Him?
I've seen the wind
But I've never seen the wind)
Can you see the breeze?
(There's a mystery to it)
(repeat chorus)
In my mind's eye, in my mind's eye
(I see You there again)
In my mind's eye, in my mind's eye
(I know You'll meet me there my Friend)
In my mind's eye, in my mind's eye
(I know You're there, I can touch You there)
In my mind's eye, in my mind's eye
(I want You there, I need You there, I see You there, I know You Care)
(And I believe, and I believe, and I believe)
Mind's Eye (old school-DC Talk)
(In my mind, I can see Your face
As your love pours down in a shower of grace
Some people tell me You're just a dream
My faith is the evidence of things unseen)
In my mind's eye, in my mind's eye
In my mind's eye, in my mind
You know what I'm going through
I know this is true
'Cause you've stood in my shoes
Desires inside of me
But it's hard to believe in what you cannot see
Can you catch the wind?
See a breeze?
Its presence is revealed by
The leaves on a tree
An image of my faith in the unseen
(chorus)
In my mind's eye
I see Your face
You smile as you show me grace
In my mind's eye
You take my hand
We walk through foreign lands
The foreign lands of life
In my mind's eye, in my mind's eye
In my mind's eye, in my mind
In my mind I'm where I belong
As I rest in your arms
And like a child I hold on to you
In my moment of truth, yes I do
We can ride the storm
Endure the pain
You comfort me in the hurricane
And I'll never be alone again
(repeat chorus 2x)
In my mind's eye, in my mind's eye
In my mind's eye, in my mind
In my mind I can see Your face
Love pours down in a shower of grace
Life is a gift that You choose to give
I believe we eternally live
Faith is the evidence of things unseen
People tell me that You're just a dream
But they don't know You the way that I do
You're the one I live to pursue
Can you catch the wind?
(Can you see God, have you ever seen Him?
I've seen the wind
But I've never seen the wind)
Can you see the breeze?
(There's a mystery to it)
(repeat chorus)
In my mind's eye, in my mind's eye
(I see You there again)
In my mind's eye, in my mind's eye
(I know You'll meet me there my Friend)
In my mind's eye, in my mind's eye
(I know You're there, I can touch You there)
In my mind's eye, in my mind's eye
(I want You there, I need You there, I see You there, I know You Care)
(And I believe, and I believe, and I believe)
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